Recent reviews by I Heard There Was Beer?

every boss clapped my cheeks and it took me 65 hours to beat with 2 friends. 10/10, would masochism again

Karen did not give me tendies after begging and pleading.

I instead got strangled to death with my cohorts screaming in terror.

11/10 would stream their screams again

Don't smack the heating lilys, even if you don't know what the ♥♥♥♥ they do

Look, if you're hoping for a game that won't crash in the middle of a good boss run, this is not that game.

However, if you can overlook that and also handle playing the game in windowed mode (as I don't know if that crash has been fixed yet), this game has a great storyline to offer. Teddie gets annoying, but everyday's get at your Junes

I am currently obsessed with this game. As a person who loves grindy pixel-art dungeon-crawlers, this is right up my alley. They've taken Hammerwatch and added quite a lot to it. Sure, they got rid of couch co-op, but most of my friends don't live very close anyways.

And more-so, the DLC is very worth it! It's not needed to enjoy the game as it is, and they add bonuses from the characters unlocked as well as a whole other dungeon (PoP).

Borderlands 2, 9.7/10

Sure, my playtime isn't as much as a lot of gamers' profiles, but, I have played this game enough to know that it's replay value is very high. With 4 different characters to choose from (6 with DLC), you have that many different playstyles to run rampant with. Gunzerker if you liked Brick from the first Borderlands game, Commando if you like deploying a turret-shield, Assassin if you like sniping/sneaking/melee (and haikus), and lastly, Siren if you really like being a badass while looking the part. With the DLC, you can also be a Psycho, because buzzsaws, explosives, and being on fire is really friggin sweet, and you can also be a Mechromancer (my favorite), for those of you who want to avenge all of your missed bullets (or if you want to see what it's like to miss) in a blaze of OP explosive glory while your Deathtrap lights everyone else on fire.

There is literally so much to do! For those that don't mind buying DLC (or playing DnD), Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep is a harder storyline that levels the enemies up as you do, some will level in combat! Beyond that, you could literally just walk around Pandora and kill everything in your path and return to Sanctuary to turn in all of the accidental quests you completed and become rich!

I really recommend this to beginning gamers. With wave after wave of quickly moving enemies, it betters your FPS reflexes, and teaches you the importance of melee. A quick, triple-shot rapid fire from a high damage Jacobs weapon followed by a melee attack is (for me) one of the best combos out there. Of course, if playing as Mechromancer, your best option is to empty your clip and get that Anarchy damage bonus for the next clip. Or, if playing as Psycho, just run in there guns blazing and buzzsaws whirring to take everybody out. There are so many ways of finishing off a cluster of 25+ enemies that it ends up sharpening your gaming mind with agile and adaptive thinking skills.

One thing wrong with the game is the repetitiveness, but all of that is quickly cleared up by Handsome Jack's dialogue (or monologue) and the fact that you probably have the most OP gun for your level at that point.

All in all, it's a great game, and also my personal favorite for one to go back to every so often.

If you played Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag before trying this game, you are going to be dissatisfied with the controller layout and overall feel of the game. But storyline-wise, PLAY IT.

If you are like me and love playing console originals that have been ported to PC with a controller, then I would not suggest sitting too far away from the screen with this game. When it says partial controller support, it means it. The first time you run the game you are gonna be required to use the keyboard and mouse to skip the long intro cutscene (you are gonna want to do this every time you run it actually) and to actually get to the main menu. After that, you gonna need to re-map ALL of the controls. The triggers don't register, so use the bumpers instead. Not to mention, if you are indeed coming from some of the later AC's, the combat and parkour system will feel VERY sluggish/non-responsive. But this is the first game: of course it will be that way.

Beyond that, the game is awesome so far. The storyline, I will agree, is VERY repetitive, but pay attention to the meetings with the leader. This is definitely where they introduce the Templars and WHY the Assassins hate them. Not to mention, you start to see the changes in both Altaïr and Desmond with every meeting / Animus break.

Okay, time for my little goings-on about the graphics.

While not as intensive as Black Flag, the graphics for AC1 are both crisp and pretty detailed given when the game was published.

Overall, 9/10 because of repetitiveness. Granted, basically having the job of "Hitman" would be pretty repetitive - "Go here. Kill this guy. Come back unseen."

If I have to hit Ins and Del to turn, and my mouse look means nothing, this game is not worth the effort to play.

GMod is like the all-in-one arcade game machines. but with a lot better graphics and more room for dumbassery.

10/10

tl;dr version:

After completing the game, after all the frustration, and after climbing the Learning Stepladder (not a learning curve, no, that's too easy), I still believe that this game is worthy of being played. 10/10


For the real review:

God, did I hate this game while I was playing it. Dying a crapton, not allowing me to dodge at certain, CRUCIAL points, a small audio problem, and OP AF mini-bosses.... But I did it. I beat the game. And all-in-all, I love it.

The premise is that all memories have now been digitized... Need I say more? Anyone who knows anything about viruses and hackers can tell you that's a bad idea. Oh wait, that's exactly where they take the storyline: Corruption. For the sake of spoilers, I'm gonna leave that there.

The combat system reminded me of Batman at first, (if you own a controller) X and Y being the attack. But then you find out that there's a nostalgic combo system that you can mess around with, transforming each Combo to your play-style. This, in my opinion, is what sets the game apart from the others that I play.

I think the only place that it falls short is how the game's difficulty increases in the beginning. Most of the power pressens you receive are only most useful the first time they are shown to you, and don't show up until much later. The way they introduce new enemies is also a bit jarring. It's much like being dropped in a third world country without a translator, but instead of conquering language barriers, you're conquering the short combo that you just made up in efforts to defeat 7 enemies while avoiding an Eighth who's power derives from the 7.

When it all comes down to it, after the frustration, You are left with a more than descent story, but also an empty feeling inside, hoping for either a sequel or a secondary storyline.

10/10