Recent reviews by Saucy Tokyo

a marriage of the macabre, grotesque, beauty of a horribly lonely environment and those puzzle games your gramgram plays on her ipad to ward off dementia.

I've read complaints about the combat, but I played passively and only fought back against Krang from TMNT. I guess I had hoped it would result in a different ending or something special since I went in blind, but it really only added an extra, fun layer of difficulty to wait for enemies to pass or crawl away into a hole.

highly recommend if you like to take it slow and savor art, atmosphere, and all around vibes. Not recommended if you're looking for a fast-paced shooter or something combat-heavy.

Why I would recommend this game:
Much of this game is as I remember it from 2002. I don't play it for the graphics or the fluid movement around objects; I play it for the nostalgia. It's just as clunky as it was and the background sounds are just as silly as ever. But I enjoy every minute of it. If your original play through of this game as a positive experience, I would suggest buying this Steam copy so that you might relive those days.

I would caution you, as the potential buyer:
This game crashes often. To combat the sudden game-ending crashes, quick save often. I bound "Quick Save" to my "Q" button and I mashed that button frequently. One final caution: avoid the lower pit under the beholder nest. It bugged my character and wiped all magical items clean even after completing the area. There is no real advantage to clearing the area, so just avoid it.

not worth buying unless you're willing to spend a considerable amount of time researching how to get the game running. well, not even: if you manage to do this and that to get the game running, you still will need to worry about random and foreseeable crashes.

even people who followed all the troubleshooting tips on the forum still can't get the game to run at all.

do yourself a favor and spend the money on a candy bar or something.

Years later, stranded at graduate school, far away from my PC, this is the game that always comes to mind when I think "Wouldn't it be nice if I could play something..."

***SPOILERS***
LISA is anti-feminist rhetoric in role-playing format, making the claim that that women are the root of all evil in man's heart and the ruin of brotherly cohesion.
The game takes place in a futuristic utopia where men live in solidarity (shirtless and balding) after a mysterious “flash” removes all females from known existence. It isn't until the arrival of a female baby that murder, torture, and over-all chaos makes itself known once again for the peaceful tribes of men. Evidence of this can be seen throughout the game as the main protagonist discovers the countless dead, causalities of a war brought on by the new presence of the “last female” and the hope for future survival she brings. Additionally, the protagonist is witness to continual acts of betrayal and irrationality spurred by the drug-like effect women apparently have on –
lol, jk. 10/10 would have bought at full price.

For those of you who appreciate early access games and are thankful for the taste of delicious things to come -
buy this game! The devs have shown that they listen to the community and plan to make changes and updates based on the constructive feedback given. My friends and I look forward to watching this game evolve as we play.

HOWEVER, for those of you who cry when your mum can't make the microwave cook your pizza rolls faster -
don't buy this game yet. If your attitude has been shaped by the "two titles a year + DLC" CoD movement, this early access game probably is not for you. IF YOU WANT YOUR PIZZA ROLLS TO BE COOKED TO PERFECTION, IT'S GONNA TAKE TIME. IF YOU CAN'T WAIT, I'M SURE EA HAS SOME SOGGY-ASS, COLD-IN-THE-MIDDLE PIZZA ROLLS MADE READY FOR YOU.

I imagine, when the game was being developed, some important person must have been walking around the studio yelling "MORE CALL OF DUTY! I WANT SNOWMOBILE CHASES! I WANT A MOTORCYCLE CHASE WITH A FRIGGIN HELICOPTER COMING AT THE PLAYERS! THEN, I WANT A PART IN THE GAME WHERE PLAYERS FIGHT A T-REX, FROM A HANG GLIDER!" And everyone had to listen to him (except for the hang glider part). It's just absurd.
The movement and hand-to-hand combat system is fun as hell, but players may find it difficult to use when the game constantly flashes to tedious cut scenes or forces your camera angle to look at some minuet detail going on in the background. These interruptions or hiccups in gameplay happen far too often; it was as if the developers were concerned that players might not catch the small details they inserted, so they force you to look at them, every time. This insecure tactic hurts replay value as many will get tired of being forced to look at the same cosmetic event over and over.
You want enjoyment out of this game? Grit your teeth, play through the storyline, and unlock 'The Mercenaries' mini-game. The mini-game is the only way you'll get to utilize any good aspects of this action game, unhindered (except, obviously, by the time-limit given). Because, face it, there is no survival horror aspect in a game with tanks crashing into Chinese castles, helicopter fights, snowmobiles chased by avalanches, train riding, bus riding, hummers chasing sports cars, and a nu metal-monster, with mechanical arm, monkey-leaping form heli to heli(lol). There just isn't.