You have swept me off my bro feet and stole my bro heart, and have shown me a bro-tiful side to this dark vain unforgiving bro-less world that I have never seen before... I now swear to dedicate my bro life to repaying the eternal brodebt I owe you for saving me, your bro-ness. Anything you ask, I will provide, I will be your bro servant if you so wish. What can I do for you bro, bro?

My name is Uni S. Cornelius (the S stands for Several things and is up to interpretation) and I'm the swaggiest bro. My swag levels reach ungodly heights bro. I have so much swag that it's infectuous, anyone who comes within a 5000 mile radius of me is infected with exponential (Barry taught me that word) levels of swag bro. The body cannot contain this much swag and the only reason I still have lives is because my magic supports my body and keeps all my organs functioning and my muscles working. Otherwise my swag would instantly KO me and I would have no lives left. This would be un-epic. People (nobody) often ask me "Uni, how are you so swaggy?" and the truth is simple bros: I have chosen my swag. Swag is a choice. You too can be swaggy. Some people are swaggy naturally, but others can still become swaggy if they so choose. This is part of being an epic gamer. You need to make every moment a top ten moment in this game called life.