Recent reviews by RastaBunnny

Dziś jestem w nastroju,
Bóbr, kurwa! Ja pierdolę!

«Holly's down!», — the most enjoyable phrase you can ever hear while playing this game in multiplayer.

To be honest, I am not quite sure how players unfamiliar with previous Remedy's art are supposed to play this game. The main story will cause dozens of questions, side-missions will become quite a great challenge with possibly hundreds of questions already, and the DLC missions will just make zero sense. I believe, having to google something every 10-15 minutes of gameplay might be pretty annoying. Far not everyone will do this! But not understanding the story to the fullest might just kill all the fun and eventually lead to abandoning the game halfway through. Thus, I would strongly recommend everyone who wishes to play Control to get familiar with all other Remedy's games first. I am not sure if that was a wise decision to create such a connection between very different games.
However, since personally I do not have any troubles of that matter, I can boldly recommend this game.
What is also great, Control is the first Remedy's game to be really well-optimized for PC.

For some reason my mom was not happy when dad brought a CD with this game for us to play. Well, for him to play, and for me — to watch. No Twitch was required these days, huh. I was 8.
However, this game had taught me much more of life lessons than school, university and elders' wisdom altogether. I still drive without licence and crush pedestrians to collect their money afterwards. I have never lacked money in my entire life. So, basically, this game has made me a happy and healthy person always able to make a living. I am really pleased with my life right now. Though, sadly, I still can not swim.

The feature with stomping corpses for loot had hit me right in the heart. If I have had an incredibly shít day — I go and stomp corpses. For today, approx. $3,000 has been successfully saved for me on a therapist already.
But rеtаrds will keep saying video games cause aggression and violence. The fact is video games help to pour them out without affecting real life and having any disastrous consequences. And, ironically, rеtаrds are actually the ones to cause them — with their useless, stupid and, most importantly, unasked advices and opinions.

THIS IS MY GAME REVIEW STRAIGHT IN THE RELEASE DAY SINCE I WANT LOTS OF LIKES AND AWARDS SO I COULD BUY USELESS GAY AVATAR FRAMES IN STEAM POINTS SHOP SO GO AHEAD GIMME DEM AWARDS YOU PRATS

This is a typically Arkane game. With the recognizable, familiar and cozy style. Such an attention to every single detail is truly stunning. Always will be.

But. There is always a «but», eh.
I am not this attentive and focused to remember to come back through two huge locations to open a fuсking safe. This incredible abundance of everything at once — locations, objectives, abilities — makes my head spin a little, to be honest. And this is the one and only small minus — just personally for me — of this game, since usually I prefer things to be more linear: like, you just follow it straight, complete your current objectives and proceed to the second, third, fourth location, et cetera, et cetera. And you never have to return somewhere. In this game, you will always have to skip several tasks in every single location, since to complete them you will often need to travel somewhere else first. Usually somewhere pretty far. So, how about travelling 569 km to the opposite side of Talos I, finding, for example, a smelly fuсking corpse there, getting a keycard or a note from it and, afterall, not forgetting to return back to the location you were at a couple of hours or even days before and completing your task? The most irritating part is that it is usually some small thing: open a safe, launch some program by pressing one single button, attach something to something by making one single move. And no — small, optional tasks and «secrets» are not marked anywhere. You have to remember.

Also, there are choices. Not a lot of them, but still, there are some. The thing is there is no 100% completion possibility in this game. You either choose this ability, or that one. You will physically lack resources to get all of them. You either complete one objective, or another, assuming that one of them will automatically be failed — there is no way to make it everywhere. You have to choose. So, for pedants, perfectionists, nerds — call it as you wish — like myself, this aspect might become real pain in the ass. Still, this pain had already made me re-play this game twice.

Oh, and the last thing. I feel genuine nausea while travelling through the low gravity locations. God bless peppermint candies.

After spending some time in a bar with a couple of beers, four bearded, muscular, sweaty men dig into each others' dark, tight caves. Well, I definitely like it.

Well, eh, I love it!
This retrowave atmosphere... This music... These weapons feel so juicy...

But, damnit! This is a great example of how a terrible implementation can ruin the whole impression of an awesome idea!
Fuсk the Uplay Launcher, fuсk the checkpoints once in a fuсking hour, fuсk the inability to skip the fuсking cutscenes! Or what, do the developers expect me not to fuсking die at all, while playing this fuсking game?

Fuсk, fuсk, fuсk, fuсk!.. And God bless the Cyrillic for allowing me to avoid Steam censor! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUСK!!!!!11!

Time...

Is an egg.

This is definitely a better explanation than my school physics teacher's one. Oh, what a bitсh she was...