17 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 23.0 hrs on record (16.7 hrs at review time)
Posted: 27 Apr, 2020 @ 3:03am
Updated: 27 Apr, 2020 @ 6:26pm

=+{Audience}==
☐ The guy who plays the game in the ads
☐ GD Auto level
☐ Nick JR game
☑ Casuals
☐ Have a bit of experience in the genre
☐ Experienced players only
☐ Veterans
☐ Pros
☐ Gamers

=+{Graphics}+=
☐ 1x1
☐ Camera is a potater
☐ MS Paint much?
☐ Scrunches up your face
☐ Bad, but not too bad.
☑ Balanced
☐ Good
☐ Glimmering
☐ VR Game

=+{Controls}+=
☐ Mixed
☐ Arrow Keys or WASD
☑ Player controls with cursor
☐ Passable
☐ Bad default binds
☐ Two major controls
☐ How do i even play this?

=+{Price}+=
☐ Just takes a penny
☐ Maybe a nickel
☑ Price seems accurate
☐ Wait for sale
☐ Double digits
☐ You need a subscription to play the game
☐ SPARE YOUR WALLET PLEASE

=+{System Requirements}+=
☐ You can play it on the Antkythera Mechanism
☐ Check if it can run paint
☐ Borrow your gandfather's laptop
☑ Average Computer
☐ Windows 10 or higher
☐ Check if it can run a 30v30 battle on gmod
☐ Gaming PC
☐ Cyberpower Gaming Xtreme PC
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

=+{Difficulty}+=
☐ Just press space to win
☑ You only need a pair of arms
☐ Normal
☐ An average match in TF2
☐ Minecraft Hardcore
☐ Pretty Difficult
☐ Check if you can beat a single level of pacman
☐ Dark Souls
☐ Bloodlust
☐ you can't reach pink color

=+{Game Length}+=
☑ Depends on how you play the game
☐ About 0-6 hours
☑ About 6-12 hours
☐ About 12-30 hours
☐ About 30+ hours
☐ go to bed
☐ Eternal

=+{Story}+=
☐ Not there yet
☐ Unnecessary
☐ ARG
☑ Tries to tell it throughout the game
☐ Your grandma's bedtime story
☐ Average
☐ The book for your book report
☐ Good enough to get you hooked
☐ Perfect

=+{Bugs}+=
☐ Bug nest
☐ Isn't functional
☐ A lot
☐ Very few
☐ Ones you can use for speedrun
☐ Very little
☑ Just that one
☐ None

=+{Mechanics}+=
☑ It's not a platformer game
☐ Game needs a mechanic
☐ Stale
☐ Slight
☐ Each level introduces and focuses on one
☐ Each level introduces them and they appear in every other level
☐ Like a delicious soup
☐ Like a box of chocolates

=+{Pay to win}+=
☐ You actually have to pay to win
☐ Yes
☑ No

=+{DLC}+=
☑ There isn't any yet
☐ None is needed
☐ Just the soundtrack
☐ Worth it's price
☐ Necessary for satisfaction
☐ Wait for sale
☐ They're all scams

=+{Easter eggs}+=
☐ It isn't easter yet
☐ Very few
☑ You have to look them up to find them
☐ Average
☐ Enough to make it interesting
☐ Game is renowned for it

=+{References}+=
☑ None
☐ It's a running joke
☐ Only one
☐ They are all obscure
☐ A little too much
☐ Stanley parable
☐ Entire game is based off of another game

=+{Updates}+=
☐ Geometry dash
☑ Looks dead
☐ About one per year
☐ Very little
☐ Not often but they bring alot
☐ Average
☐ It's mostly bug fixes
☐ dude chill
☐ The updates are managed by a bot

=+{Level editor}+=

☐ That's why i bought the game
☐ Too complex for me
☐ You gotta unlock it first
☐ Professoredits would like to know your location
☑ No

=+{Workshop}+=
☑ Hollow
☐ Under 20 items
☐ Growing Community
☐ Just Perfect

=+{Community hub tab}+=
☐ i saw some cringe
☐ Nobody really posts on it
☐ At least one guide
☑ Average
☐ It's mostly screenshots and artwork

=+{Reccomended?}+=
☐ Just buy it already
☑ Yes
☐ Sure
☐ Sorta
☐ Inbetween
☐ Not really
☐ Nah
☐ No
☐ Just refund it already
☐ Unsure

=+{Conclusion}+=
bonus points because of nostalgia
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