Recent reviews by Venka

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Recommended

508.1 hrs on record (103.0 hrs at review time)

fort,
morning!

Posted 5 March, 2022.

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Recommended

5.2 hrs on record (3.7 hrs at review time)

My boat was shipwrecked, and I was surrounded by a mob for someone else's mistake; next I was captured by bandits, and later by cultist bug-things. I escaped successfully only to be enslaved by more sophisticated bandits, and for my house to be repossessed and re-purposed in my absence. I escaped only to realise I had left my equipment inside the bandits' fortress, forcing me to go back and retrieve my pokey sticc and my stash of random things I picked up in the wilds.

Unable to escape a second time without the necessary currency, I was forced to sell my armour so I could bribe the guards to release me once more. Wearing nothing but linen rags, I ran home (which was at the opposite end of the map) with what seemed to be the most powerful chicken in the universe furiously chasing after me the entire time, as if trying to avenge the two eggs I had previously used to cook an omelette for a fellow prisoner. After a long journey, I was finally within the safety of the city walls. However, this was the part where I had learnt my fellow tribesmen took my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ house and were now using it as barracks out of spite for my entire bloodline. This is the part where I need YOUR help! In order to get my house back, I require your mum's credit card information and the funny numbers on the back, but you must hurry, for if you take too long, I'm going to burn this stupid village to the ground for repossessing my lighthouse to use it as unneeded barracks for the useless militiaTHATKEEPS BULLYINGF ME FOR THE PREVIOUS ACTIONS OF MY ANCESTORS.

Posted 27 December, 2020. Last edited 27 December, 2020.

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