Honkmotherian Scriptures: The Nine Pillars of Fun (I-III)
I. The honk that can be told is not the eternal Honk. The honkmother that can be named is not the eternal Honkmother. The nameless is what sets the stage. The named is the play, the actors, the audience and the wall between them. Freed from seriousness, you can see the hidden mystery. Serious eyes only see what is visibly real.
II. We shape a balloon into an animal, but it is the emptiness inside that lets the balloon take its shape. We work with the substantial, but what is between the lines is what we use.

III. The highest Fun is not to seek to create Fun, but to allow yourself to become it. The serious person seeks to do Fun things, and finds that they cannot do them continually. The serious person tries to squeeze all the Fun out of the lemons they’ve been given, only to find the juice is sour.Honkmotherian Scriptures: The Nine Pillars of Fun (IV-VI)
IV. When a Jester hears of the Grand Joke of the Universe, he lets it be his guide. When an average person hears of the Grand Joke of the Universe, he believes half of it, and doubts the other half. When a foolish person hears of the Grand Joke of the Universe, he laughs out loud at the very idea. If he didn't laugh, it would not be a joke, would it?
V. The best Jesters are those the people hardly know exist. The next best is a Jester who is loved and praised. Next comes the one who is feared. The worst one is the Jester that is despised. When a great Jester has accomplished their task, the people say, "this was so much fun," oblivious of what’s upstream of the Stream of Fun, much like they are oblivious of the Grandest of Jesters, the Uppest of Upstreams, the Blankest of Slates.

VI. As is the Blankest of Slates, so is the mind of the Jester. They see the mind of the people as their own mind. To those who are good they treat as good. To those who aren't good they also treat as good. They trust people who are trustworthy. They also trust people who aren't trustworthy. Thus they attain goodness and trust, lest the manure-minded serious people stop the stream of Fun.Honkmotherian Scriptures: The Nine Pillars of Fun (VII-IX)
VII. If you do not fear death, how can it intimidate you? To truly understand this is to take a great stride along the Path of the Bike Horn. To unnaturally try to extend life is to fear death. To try and alter the life-breath is to fear death. The Jester understands that when something reaches its prime it will soon begin to decline. Changing the natural is to stray from the Path of the Bike Horn. Those who do it will not have Fun in the end.
VIII. With compassion, you will be able to be brave. With moderation, you will be able to bring Fun to the world. With humility, you will be able to guide others. To abandon compassion while seeking to be brave, or abandoning moderation while being amusing, or abandoning humility while seeking to guide will not lead to Fun.

IX. The kite rises high and the Jester lets it soar; the kite string pops and the Jester lets it fly away. He has but does not possess, acts but does not expect. When his work is done, he forgets it. That is why it lasts forever, much like the Grandest of Jesters. Praise the Honkmother!