Recent reviews by Sam Handwich

Spartan 3 review

PROS:
-can survive falling from orbit
-can flip main battle tanks
-can punch through armor plating
-can perform basic human functions, such as sprinting
-can withstand tremendous damage with the help of conveniently placed space band-aids

CONS:
-can only survive falls if they're from orbit
-can't hold their weapon still
-is prone to random plot armor malfunctions
- files are covered in black ink
-has armor lock
-can't swim

VERDICT:
6/5 Nobles, highly recommend.

Still haven't loaded in yet, but it looks cool.

Ever wanted to be a legendary, world saving hero?

Get Skyrim.

Ever wanted to adventure through the mysterious Nordic lands and culture?

Get Skyrim.

Ever wanted to have an anti-gravity horse?

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Ever wanted to wage war on a race of gay elves?

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Ever had the urge to slaughter an entire villiage, throw the bodies in a pile, and assume all of their lives?

Get Skyrim.

Ever wanted to fight a dragon that looks and sounds like macho man Randy Savage?

Get Skyrim.

Ever wanted to take LSD?

Get Skyrim, and download a few "quality" mods.

If any of this is an experience that you're missing in your life, then WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?! GO GET SKYRIM!