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To Solev
Order No. 370
GLAZED GREETINGS:
Having submitted yourself to a local board composed of neighborly sigmas for the purpose of evaluating the availability of your mewing streak for edging and gooning in the Aura Forces of Ohio, you are hereby notified that you have been selected to start your Aura Forces era. You will begin with gooning and edging training and service on May 6th, 3 BGTA6 (Before GTA 6). You will, therefore, report to the local board named above at 224 Fanum Lane, Skibidiland, Ohio.
Failure to report promptly to this local board at the hour and on the day named in this notice is sus and will cause a whole bunch of turbulence. This will get you caught in 4K by the Bouncing on It Service Act of 1940, as amended, and subjects you to being cooked. Bring with you sufficient drip for 3 days.