dodged abortion's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 12:05pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 12:08pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 12:37pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 12:36pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 11:17am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 12:40pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 10:54am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 12:54pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2022 @ 2:52pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2022 @ 4:20pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:25pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 4:26pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 5:28am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 2:14pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 2:31pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 2:48pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 6:32am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 8:01am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 1:14pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 5:32am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 1:36pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 1:22pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 12:05pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2022 @ 3:22pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:13pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 7:21am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:58pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:33pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 5:28am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 3:56pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 2:26pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:04pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:04pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 6:42am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:50pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 10:33am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 12:43pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 12:32pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 12:37pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 10:41am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 11:08am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 1:12pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 6:32am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 5:47am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 4:48am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 1:26pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 12:14pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 6:41am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 5:38am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 6:01am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 5:43am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2022 @ 7:53am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 9:58am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2022 @ 4:29pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 4:18pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2022 @ 2:46pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2022 @ 1:49pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

13 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

11 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

3 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30