· "The ‘W’ may or may not stand for ‘Wolfgang,’ ‘Warfare,’ or ‘Warcrime.’ Investigation pending."
· "Lughius' birth certificate lists his place of origin as 'The 47th Platoon,' suggesting he was either cloned or bureaucratically manifested into existence."
· "The '47th Platoon' was originally the '46th Platoon' until a democratic vote (overseen by a Super Earth-appointed officer) unanimously decided to round up."
· "The 'Super Sheriff' title does not confer actual legal authority, only a moral superiority and a 300% higher chance of friendly fire incidents."
· "The 'Eternal Liberty Crusade' has changed objectives 147 times. Current priorities: 1) Disintegrate Automaton forces 2) Classify all failures as 'planned democracy tests.'"
· "Lughius W.H.'s jump pack is technically listed as 'office equipment' to avoid additional taxation."
· "The 'W.' investigation has been postponed indefinitely due to budget cuts. Suspected meanings now include 'Waffles,' 'Wombat,' and 'Whiskey (neat).'"


· Mission 47-12: "Successfully liberated planet. Then immediately had to liberate it again from the liberation forces."
· Mission 47-31: "Paladin in question attempted to brew coffee using a LAS-7 Dagger , resulted in 'Liquid Freedom' (Pat. Pend.), boosted platoon morale by 37%.
*(Captain's Note: "While technically a violation of Article 7 (Weapon Misuse), we're calling it 'Innovative Democracy Dispersion' and giving everyone a medal.)"*