Kenneth's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 7:21pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 6:36pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 12:15am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 2:29am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 7:14pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 7:04pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 1:37am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 4:06am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 2:40am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 4:28am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2020 @ 10:14pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 12:21am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 3:07am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 2:09am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 3:31am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 2:24am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 2:58am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 18 Mar, 2016 @ 2:39am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 3:08am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 6:08pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 3:45am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 5:00am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 2:35am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 4:14am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2016 @ 11:56pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 1:16am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 6 Jan, 2023 @ 1:27am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 2:37am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 18 Mar, 2016 @ 2:34am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2020 @ 9:58pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 6:24pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 7:10pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2020 @ 10:01pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 6:42pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 6:52pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 6:23pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 3:01am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 4:24am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 1:28am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 2:14am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 22 May, 2018 @ 10:22pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 2:56am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 1:45am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 1:26am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 24 May, 2022 @ 11:32pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 18 Mar, 2016 @ 2:04am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 5:30am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

25 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

29 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

16 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30