Recent reviews by Kempli

Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance! ... But not for me!

This game is a fascinating contradiction, and while it doesn't push the envelope, let alone redefine the genre, I can't help but find a lot to appreciate about it. It's unapologetically "gamey" in a way that feels like a deliberate throwback to an older era of RPGs. Sure, it's years late to its own party, but for me, that's part of its charm. Everything—from the dialogue and combat to the roleplay mechanics and player choices—feels like a visually overhauled relic, yet still something unmistakably from BioWare's gameography. In my opinion, not every game needs to reinvent the wheel or blow our collective minds with the shotgun named Innovation. However, if BioWare wanted to make an epic re-entrance with this game, they should've gambled more, gone full Motörhead with the core design, aiming for more branching storylines, deeper character customization, and/or truly dynamic choices to enhance replay value.

The game looks fantastic. And let me just say, the optimization is damn near miraculous in today's gaming. No major bugs, no random stuttering, no glaring performance issues—self-evident but rare, and it deserves applause for that alone. Honestly, it’s a f*cking sad label to carry when “it works” is a standout feature. Says a lot about the game industry...

The gameplay feels familiar in a way that's comforting rather than disappointing. Sure, there's nothing here that'll set the industry on fire, but it's all competently done. Combat? Serviceable. Dialogue? Predictable. If you go in expecting a rock-solid, no-frills RPG experience with modern polish, you’ll find plenty to enjoy. It may not be groundbreaking, but it’s certainly not broken.

The user interface in general is a slight pain in the nalgas, bogged down by bloated animations that make you think if it’s actively trying to piss you off. There’s also an unfortunate lack of urgency in the story. The upbeat, almost quirky tone clashes with the end-of-the-world setting, and it’s difficult to stay invested when everyone seems so bizarrely nonchalant about their impending doom. This tonal dissonance sticks out like a turd in a fruit bowl. It’s jarring, to say the least, and it holds the narrative back from being as engaging as it could be.

From my perspective, BioWare played it safe with this one. Maybe even too safe. For better or worse, "safe" is the game's defining feature. Nothing extraordinary, but a polished, functional, good-looking, old-school RPG.

Hot garbage.

Willem Dafoe was here.

Bruh, I had ChatGPT handle this whole review 'cause, you know, #lazyvibes. 69 hours of playtime, let’s gooo!

💀 Valheim’s bussin’. Deadass! This game’s got giga potential, like, the devs could add a whole universe, no cap. But even rn, it’s straight fire. 🔥

It’s an open-world survival flex where you’re a dead Viking out here crafting, building, and slaying—big W. The retro visuals? That’s just the drip. Combat? On God, it’s clutch af. Link up with 10 homies for co-op or throw hands in PvP if you’re feelin’ froggy. 🐸

Valheim’s got steez, frfr. Certified banger. 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯

Originally posted by Kempli:

Unfortunately, I can't—and I won't—in good conscience recommend this game. However, despite my thumbs-down, certain things in it can make you giddy.

Fallout 76 is pretty much an exact copy of Fallout 4 with identical bugs and flaws. Most of the algorithms are also the same, which is undeniably the reason why the game has suffered from all sorts of issues throughout its lifetime. For the most part, the game is unable to follow everything that is happening. For instance, when multiple players are "Stepbrother, I'm stuck!" -ing the heck out of a strong enemy, the game will simply throw in the towel.

Content is scarce since the developers are only focused on making more capital with microtransactions, resource management is a kick in the groin without the Fallout F*ck You First subscription, and the game has more bugs than underneath that cool rock you picked up as a kid. If I could summarize the game in one sentence, I'd say: Fallout 76 is a precipice of lost potential.

If you've enjoyed Fallout in the past, I can guarantee you'll enjoy Fallout 76 to an extent as well. Bring in your friends, though, because getting depressed is funnier and less dangerous en masse.

Hopefully, none of the developers will ever read this and voodoo the sh*t out of me. I promise I'll keep playing, o mighty leather-jacketed Todd "It just works!" Howard!

P.S. Don't look at my playtime, please, as it doesn't reflect this review...

After receiving constructive and grammatically sound feedback while being told to kill myself several times in a very traditional Steam Community-like fashion, I decided to make some changes to the review to better relay my message, with an added heartfelt letter at the end. I retained the original review above.

Some people argue that I shouldn't criticize a game I've dedicated over 400 hours to, claiming that it's particularly unacceptable to continue playing after giving it a negative rating. For those who don't know, this suboptimal phenomenon is called the sunk cost fallacy. Imagine paying 15 cabbages per month just for your character to be able to carry all their sh*t. I love the Fallout universe, yet, I still find it difficult, given my experience, to genuinely endorse Fallout 76. I outright refuse to recommend it because of its current state, its progress over the years, its history of shortcomings, and its consistency to fail to meet expectations.

Although, despite my disappointment, my desire to love the game remains. Admittedly, the game has taken certain steps forward. It has seen progress, true. However, this said progress, which certain well-mannered and articulate individuals in the comments kept referring to, should've been in place when Bethesda decided to release the game. Moreover, the game's lack of significant progress over the years raises questions, especially when considering its multiple years of candidacy for the Labor of Love award in The Steam Awards. Ironically, it begs the question of who deemed it suitable to vie for an award intended for games whose developers nurture and care for them, rather than games primarily focused on milking money from the player base.

I never thought I'd need to explain why I wrote this review, to justify its existence. Don't force me to go all philosophical on your asses. Consider this review as a warning: Save your time and money. And if you still decide to dive in, remember that Fallout 76 is built on broken promises, predatory monetization, and recycled content.

As for my heartfelt letter, for all you Care Bears, Quasimodos, and Happy Little Accidents out there, once Fallout 76 starts seeing a consistent stream of actual content that doesn't add to the existing grind, and if Todd Howard sends me a kick-ass leather jacket personally signed by him, I'm willing to consider changing the vertical direction of my pollex.

Please bring Chaos Wastes into Darktide so that one of my esteemed acquaintances finally agrees to buy the game.

An absolute masterpiece.

You know, I'm something of a Bastard myself.