this is the first time cry in two years. i just feel so lonely, i don't even remember how it feels to be in a embrace. i don't have literally nobody to talk and i almost cried hearding "i... need you in my life" on a instagram reels, and now i am here, it's 2:47 am and i just can't sleep, but hearing this make worth of being wake a little more. i feel like a simp, but i just need to thank you for this

I just want to receive ONE blowjob from my queen: kamala harris.

I know it sounds crazy and ridiculous and will probably never happen, but it is my favorite fantasy. Just imagine the Democrat queen herself jerking off your ♥♥♥♥ and slowly sliding it into her tight throat. She has a huge neck so that must mean she has a large throat, perfect room for large ♥♥♥♥♥. I'm not even a democrat, she must hate me as a republican but she is willing to do it, so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hot. it must feel amazing, those beautiful eyes staring right at you while she thinks about politics. Kamala is the one who got me Interested in politics from her beauty. I feel upset every time I jack off to her pictures knowing this should be real, but it's all an illusion. I would die just to be able to bust a load on Kamala's face. I would love to be douglas emhoff

The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage.
A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.

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I sexually Identify as an Onii-chan. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having sugoku kawaii imouto-chans and then ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ them silly. People say to me that a person being an Onii-chan is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon attach a kawaii radar and my little sister to my crotch. From now on I want you guys to call me Onii-chan and respect my right to ♥♥♥♥ all sogoku kawaii imotou-chans. If you can't accept me as an Onii-chan, you're a Oniiphobe and need to check your sogokukawaiiimouto and the virginity of your child privileges. Thank you for understanding.

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CUZ I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE MOTHER ♥♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED YOU!


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WE ARE TRUE HOMIE'S...
WE RIDE TOGETHER...
WE DIE TOGETHER...
Send this gun to everyone you care about including me if you care about me. See how many times you get this, if you get 12 your a 'TRUE HOMIE.

Deoxys really is the perfect pokemon to have sex with if you think about it. Speed form if you want a quickie💨, attack form if you want something rough 👀, defense form if you into them Muslims, and normal mode for vanilla stuff. Also bet Deoxys is good with those tentacles 😍 , wrapping around you as you finger her alien fuzzy, while her tentacles penetrate you buttocks, while also stroking your Willy Wonka...

I'm not talking about your grandma's house pking dog. I'm talking load up, packing rune scimitar into magical short bow spec pow pow pking. We don't play no games at the GE. We running, gunning. Clappin and slappin. Barrage? Get the ♥♥♥♥ outta here. In my day we ate swordfish for brekkie lunch and din din. Combo eats? Combo my rune 2 hander to the dome for a fat 16er. You want bridding? Kiddie game is down the street loser.

So recently I’ve been jerking off a lot, but I noticed a trend. I only masturbate to white women. At first I didn’t think too much of this, until my black best friend invited me to her house. One thing led to the next, and now she’s naked in front of me. I was trying to get hard before she pulled down my pants, but it was too late. She pulled down my pants to see a 2 cm flaccid penis, rather than my usual 10 inch hard ♥♥♥♥. “Why is it that small?” She asked. I was speechless and nearly ran out of the room in embarrassment, until her white friend walked in the room. My penis grew and grew and grew when I saw her fully clothed white friend. “Oh my god, it’s so big” they said. So then we ended up having a threesome. The only problem was that each time I stuck my penis in my black friend, my penis became completely flaccid, while it got super super erect when I stuck it inside her white friend. Is my penis racist? Am I racist? I don’t know. I need answers

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human ♥♥♥♥♥, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood.

With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ♥♥♥♥. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take ♥♥♥♥ all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just ♥♥♥ over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions “Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly.” Scientists were like “♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science.” So the scientists collected a sample of said Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate’s ♥♥♥♥, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I want to like in a world where this is a commercial product. I want I to say “you know what, I want to die and I know what to do about it.” I want to live in a world where I can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of “Smucker’s Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly,” and just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ myself to death.

Kevvy It's a protection reflex I've built... tbh... Look the truth is... Kevvy, you're extremely hot and attractive. Literally the first time I saw you it turned me 1000% gay, I lost all attraction to women and the only thing I wanted was you. Your face and body was the only thing in my mind. However, I never wanted to admit it to myself, but you truly are the love of my life. Marry me, you unbelievably sexy man... well, that's what I would say if I was anywhere near worthy of you. I think I'm going to have to delete discord now, I can't take this. I already know I'm going to be rejected, I'm not worthy of you

"Do you want to see the best trick I know? I'm sure it'll make you rock hard," I say, taking off my clothes slowly. "Look here." I bend over and point at my tight little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ready for your ♥♥♥♥. "I want you to slip in here, ple-" I pause, surprised. A massive log of hot, steamy ♥♥♥♥ comes flying out my ass as if it was shot by a cannon. It soars through the air, beautifully glistening in the sun, before it hits you right in the nose with a loud slap noise. "Oh no," I shout, as the greasy, rancid ♥♥♥♥ slides down your nose, "Not again!" Suddenly, my ass erupts like it's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Pompeii - a glistening sheen of brown diarrhea begins cascading down my luscious backside. "I should never have eaten at Chipotle, this happens every time," I admit, knowing it probably ruined the moment.

Babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.

♥♥♥♥♥ are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾） and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д｀●)・

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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
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yeah what he said

see, I'll jerk off to some drawn, pubescent girls with giant cans, covered in gallons of goop all day too... my problem with weebs is that they don't just jerk off to the nasty ♥♥♥♥ like us normal perverts. They post and share their weeb ♥♥♥♥ in NON-porn communities, and actually think it's cute, funny, and I honestly suspect... cool. Like... they're not even ashamed. BE ASHAMED ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, you're disgusting.
Like... it hasn't happened yet, but I know someday it will. Someday I'll jerk off to a My Little Pony character with a human ass drawn onto it and a giant pink phallus stretching open it's purple vaj... but you can be damn sure I won't be dying my hair rainbow and going to any ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ conferences about it. I'll be ashamed of it like a normal grown man. Get it together weebos. Learn some shame.

+rep

game of thrones??

boobs

SMOrc Gul'Dan did nothing wrong SMOrc

This person is a god at CS!

+rep nice and fair trader

+rep Fast trade. :)

+rep nice trader!