Thank you for visiting my humble profile. I'm Mike, a retired freelance parody rapper / part-time rental clown for geriatrics based out of Bellevue. After being left the estate of a late older gentleman who I used to perform for, I was able to retire at the age of 27. I now offer my services pro-bono for those in need.

- Location: Bellevue, Washington, United States of America
- Genre: Male
- Occupation: DBD competitive player for the 「𝐻𝒶𝒹𝒹𝑜𝓃𝒻𝒾𝑒𝓁𝒹 𝐻𝑜𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓇𝓈™」.
- Computer Specialfications: Steam Deck (2024 - as you're reading this).

Fun Facts About Me:

- I will often stock up on the best sauce in the store and keep it on hand for all recipes, then I can make the best spaghetti ever. Now this might sound a bit odd, but I like to eat spaghetti with mayonnaise on top. I used to buy the small cans, because then it only cost me about a dollar for a can. Today, I found a single, quart jar of anchovy's for $3.48.

- My worst, silly little fear is about how much I hate grass follicles. I could sit and watch grass blades for hours. I have seen them turn green and, then, turn brown and wither away and I'm a mess. My mom made fun of me so much as a kid because I would giggle, twirl, do the worm and roll around with the blades. I would try to eat the leftovers of a grass blade and I would get it stuck in my teeth and I would have to scrape it out with a fingernail.