GOD
MADE
VIDEO
GAMES
SO
YOU
CAN
REACH
DEATH
FASTER

THIS IS THE ESCAPE. TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN. GOD HAS ANSWERED OUR SUFFERING, BY GIVING US MEDIA TO CONSUME TO HELP "TIME FLY" SO WE CAN DIE AND GET OUT OF HERE QUICKER.

WE DO NOT HAVE AN ABRAHAMIC KIND OF GOD. THIS GOD, THAT I DESCRIBE, IS OUR GOD. HE PITIES US BUT CANNOT STOP WHAT HE STARTED, SO HE IS TRYING TO EASE OUR SUFFERING.

⣾⣿⠿⠿⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⢀⡅⢠⣾⣛⡉⠄⠄⠄⠸⢀⣿⠄
⢀⡋⣡⣴⣶⣶⡀⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣄⣀⣥⣿⣿⠄
⢸⣇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⣠⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⢸⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⢀⣤⣄⠉⠋⣰
⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⡷⠶⠶⢿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣤
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣥⣴⣿⡗
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
⣦⣌⣛⣻⣿⣿⣧⠙⠛⠛⡭⠅⠒⠦⠭⣭⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠈⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⠃⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣴⣿⣶⣄⠄⣴⣶⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄
⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄

after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

════════════════════════════════════════════════════════
ＰＯＳＴ ＴＨＩＳ ＯＮ ＹＯＵＲ ＷＡＬＬ ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＤＩＥＤ ＩＮ ＶＩＥＴＮＡＭ
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There's so many things we could be doing to impress Jodi Foster right now.

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any ♥♥♥♥♥ movies
that are made for guys like me.

All the ♥♥♥♥ I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic ♥♥♥♥-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't ♥♥♥♥♥♥. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed ♥♥♥♥ bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need ♥♥♥♥.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need ♥♥♥♥.