Recent reviews by Uncle Mel

not worth more than 2 dollars imo. repetitive gameplay, predictable story, uninspired scenery. 2/10

Overly simplistic representation of gangsters. I really don't see the connection to Mafia 3, and the connection to Mafia 1 was hilariously weak.
Graphics are astonishingly bad for a remastered game. Dying to see what the un-mastered version looked like. The main and side characters have crazy pore issues and really need some Witchhazel in order to minimize their massive face pores.
2/10

Fun, casual zombie hunting game. The mechanics work properly and the story makes sense.

One of the best games I've ever played. It's extremely witty in how it depicts the cold-hearted Soviet bureaucratic age. You have to be quick in your decision making so don't get frustrated when you find yourself pausing to strategize or restarting every now and again.

pros:
atmosphere, great dialogue, originality, sad ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ story i jerked a few tears ngl

cons:
not gwent

3/10 coz no Gwent
i have a decent pc so i didn't have a super buggy experience but I don't think I'll go back to it. The driving stinks, but the gun gameplay is extremely realistic and fun. It's basically an Ubisoft game.

pros:
pew pew is fun, melee combat is unfun and super broken
gorgeous npc's
amazing city atmosphere
large map, lots of shooting and looting available


cons:
the city's people and cars load like 5 yards(5 meters) at a time, so if you turn your back or run 5m and stop you will load an entirely new set of npc's and cars around yourself, just wow.
the driving SUCKS, there's like one muscle car that doesn't suck ass but it's slow so FAST TRAVELING IS KEY.
the story is simple, the options don't feel important
it doesn't feel like a new game, but more like a polished ubisoft game with better graphics and a story that wasn't written by aliens who don't understand human emotions.
no Gwent

my horsie is so purdy

Unfun.

It's beyond unplayable... I can't believe I pre-ordered this collossal sh*t-show of a game... I have installed and uninstalled this game about 6 times now and I can honestly say I regret every penny, second and byte I have spent on this useless game. Not only is the campaign hard to look at to begin with, but it is also extremely dull and uninteresting compared to the bundle of other total war games I adore.

Touching story of a few young guys, trying to make a few bucks. 10/10 would play it again.

This is so bad that it's sort of good. Trollingwise it's a great game. Practically however, it's horrible. It is impossible to play seriously, people can totally ignore you and go around their business and complete their missions. Interesting idea for a game but poor execution. Great for some friendly laughs, though undeserving of actual currency.