Recent reviews by boneless skeleton

great pacing at easing you into the mechanics (coming from someone who gets overwhelmed at buttons easy)

so much lovely authentic voiceover, eventually lost track of space dollars entirely; the dialogue is the real progression. the lines had me constantly giggling

i feel like it's been a long time since a game allows itself to be silly

i have a very strong interest in this boning chamber and would like to learn more

i watched a man turn to jelly while waiting for new skin because my doctor was getting a soda. 10/10

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Here is a comprehensive list of the wonderful features you get for your 60 dollar commitment to the new Elite Dangerous: Horizons:


- the ability to land on giant empty planets

- the ability to drive on said empty planets for hours to find signals which are 90% of the time a rock and 10% of the time a robot guarding a single 1-ton canister of coffee beans

- don't worry; the rocks can be harvested to craft more fuel, so that you may travel further on the empty planets and maybe find more robots and coffee beans

- sometimes there is an outpost or port on a planet that you can dock at that offers nothing over a space station; convenient for selling your bounty of coffee beans

- the option to drive your buggy off a cliff and explode after realizing what a waste of time and money this is

- a vague promise for future content that you will likely not receive for months

- a lingering sense of deep regret

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PLANETS ARE MONEYMAKERS!!

If you find one robot and coffee bean canister every hour, sell the coffee for a reasonable rate (1,300 credits), and claim the bounty for the criminal coffee-guarding robot (1,000 credits), you can make 2,300 credits per hour; at this rate, you can purchase the starter ship in the game after only 14 hours!

You'd be a liar if you said that you haven't wanted a game where you can be a wizard-slaying wizard. Come slay wizards with your wizard powers.