themistling's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:12pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:28pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:17pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 3:27pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 10:45am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:12am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 8:43pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 7:20pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 8:29pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 3:57pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:56am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 8:14pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2013 @ 7:40pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 6:53pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 6:57pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 8:09pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2013 @ 10:17pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:55am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 7:06pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:49pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 10:49am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2016 @ 11:29am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 8:05pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2019 @ 11:46pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 7:07pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:22pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:35pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:16am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:45am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2013 @ 7:53pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 4:39pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2013 @ 10:22pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:15am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2013 @ 7:47pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 3:08pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 30 May, 2015 @ 10:08pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 7:40pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 7:18pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2019 @ 12:25pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 17 Oct, 2019 @ 9:35pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 17 Oct, 2019 @ 9:03pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 3:51pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

12 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

5 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

0 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

11 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30