Recent reviews by HagCel

Categorically, the worst game-ending of all time. Was a fun distraction, and I eventually beat the game. Had to alt-F4 out of the game so I could work. Google the ending, I'm not throwing spoilers down here, but it was 80% of the way to malware.

Grabbed two copies of this on sale for my 9yo son and I. Gut busting laughter on both of our parts.

First off, do not let your son play solo for an hour before you start. He will learn all the ways to die, and you will be in the place we are at now. The baby always wins. Even when I'm the baby. But so many ways to die.

Pretty glitchy, but it is glitchy in a way that almost adds to the game. Two good ones, First, dad fell though the floor, next the baby got dropped by dad still had the baby in his hands and could watch the baby change color as it drowned.

The point of the game is to laugh, and it delivers that in spades.

Trash. As others have said, It's mostly cut scenes. In almost two hours, I have played about five minutes over and over again. The fighting is single button attacks with button mashing. It was dumb with keyboard, so I tried with a controller (Because "real yakuza" use controllers). Had to start over from the beginning. Twice I've made it to the kereoki bit, singularly the WORST UI I have encountered since losing the controller overlay for a game on the Intellivision. Worse? You can't quit while in the middle of a song. Had to alt-f4 my way out of the game. Hid it from my list, canceled Humble Bundle, and came here to spit bile on it. Might be cool on console, but this thing is a bad movie with interactive controls that make you hate life.

Nope. This game is dead. As expected when it went free to play, it's a swamp of hackers who don't even bother to use toggle hacks anymore, Just blatently aiming at you through walls as they corner creep to shoot you in the hand. This game was AMAZING for so long, but is dead now.

Terrible if you aren't nostalgic for some 3DS game. The mouse controls are built for pre-programmed aim points. If you are using a mouse and keyboard, this means you are essentially jump scrolling from point to point, including wild jumps to admiring scenerey as the pillow slugs are attacking you. Graphics aren't bad, and I have a feeling the story might be good, if the controls weren't so bad that I'd ask for a refund if this wasn't given to me in a humble bundle. Totally on rails, not a "shooter" at all, but more a first person point and click with a gun. I hope that someday they reboot resident evil in the same way they recently did Tomb Raider, I really like the story arc and the idea of the universe, but PC versions of the game have always fallen flat due to controls and poor UX choices that ruin the experience. To be fair, I've never been a fan of controller focused first person games. Todays review was sponsored by the term "Flaming Turd".

Got this in a bundle, like many current reviewers. While I enjoyed the 4 hours of game play it took me to finish the game, I don't think I would be happy with the $15 price tag for what it offers. It is a gorgeous game, with excellent graphics and an atmosheric world, but it is 100% linear, with no personal flexibility in problem solving. Most of the puzzles are obviously solved, and those that aren't easy are only difficult because they change the normal game mechanics. (ie, Move the robot dog in a third dimension that is not obvious.)

This game is beautiful, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to play it. The story is empty enough to project your own feelings into the character, and reminded me of the feelings I had playing the original Prince Of Persia. Defintiely grab this game if it is on sale, and you are a fan of games with excellent art direction. But recognize that even if you are a casual player you are probably going to get only 4-5 hours of playtime from the game.

In summary: Beautiful, but not $15 worth of entertainment.

I got this game as part of abundle a few years back, and have run the full campaign two or three times. Even though I bought it on sale, I have probably spent as much money as if I had bought it at full price, because I've now bought it for most of my friends.

If you like games like GTA, but like a bit more cartoonish humor, this is your game. The single player mission goes 100% over the top in the first ten minutes of the game, and it's just a hint of what's to follow.

First off, car jacking. No need to walk up and grab someone out the the car. Instead, just drop kick them through the windshild and get driving.

The awsome button. You will pretty much wear out your shift key with nitro, drop kicks, flying tackles, and tons of other fun things.

Weapons and powerups. Once you have dual sub-machine guns that set people on fire, you'll wonder how you ever lived without them.

Did I mention drop kick carjacks? I have missed this in every other open world game I've ever played.

Territory collecting hasn't been this fun since GTA San Andreas, though once you 100% the map, you'll porbably want to restart the campaign so you have more enemys to beat down with a giant purple ......

The characters. Sure, you've got Shandi and Pierce.... But eventually you get Burt Reynolds. Yes, really, BURT REYNOLDS!

This was Volution's finest work. SR4 took a bit more over the top, and Gat Outta Hell had deeper humor in the cut scenes, but this is a world I gladly return to again and again.

Really enjoyable. Particularly good if you play right until you get frustrated, then move onto something else, otherwise, you'll beat this in a single night. (Toke me two hours over four sessions to beat, and I'm far from a platform pro) I'm sure there is some replayability in hunting lost cores, but the core game play was worth it enough for me, and I'm still trying to beat Super Meat Boy

Pros: 2-3 Puzzles that are real head scratchers that lead to face palming once you see how simple it is.
Simple easy to remember game play. 3 buttons. Telport gun, Blaster, Jump.

Great price.

Cons: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too short. (Actually the perfect length for price paid, but I was just getting into it when the credits rolled.)

This in not the worst online game in history. Only the most disappointing. I love the idea, the player base is huge, but it's damn near unplayable. Takes up to half an hour to even get into the game on some ocassions, then the multiplayer events are laggy to the point of absurdity.

Read all the other reviews about hacked cash, reduced account balances from RockStar. None of that has affected me.

That said, the single player is fun, and the playing as three charcters keeps the campaign fresh and enjoyable. Grab this game on sale for $20 if you can, and ignore the shark bundles for online play. If you are moderate gamer, the load times alone will turn you off, and if not that the lag will kill you.