geoff's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2020 @ 11:56am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 3:36pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 11:29am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 3 Oct, 2020 @ 10:54pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 11:39am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 9:00am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:34pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 3:23pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 4:20pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2020 @ 1:49pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2020 @ 11:24am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2020 @ 1:51pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 9:26am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2020 @ 2:35pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2020 @ 11:08am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2020 @ 2:03pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 9:10am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2020 @ 3:34pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2020 @ 1:39pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 3:55pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2020 @ 11:36am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2020 @ 12:50pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:44pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:14pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 4:12pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 4:09pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 18 Jun, 2022 @ 4:23pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 5 Oct, 2020 @ 2:57pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2020 @ 9:38am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 9:02am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:17pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 3:30pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2020 @ 1:56pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 11:23am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 4:05pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2020 @ 11:53am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 12:55pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:37pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2018 @ 2:48pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 12:56pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2018 @ 2:49pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:41pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2020 @ 12:52pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2020 @ 12:51pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2020 @ 1:56pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 9:22pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 3 Oct, 2020 @ 11:04pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2020 @ 11:37am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2020 @ 9:35am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 3:24pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 9:28am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 1:46pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2020 @ 2:31pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2020 @ 3:05pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 14 Oct, 2020 @ 9:38am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2022 @ 11:58am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2020 @ 10:51am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2020 @ 3:36pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2020 @ 12:05pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2020 @ 12:06pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2020 @ 3:37pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 2 May, 2021 @ 4:19pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2020 @ 11:04am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2020 @ 1:57pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

4 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

28 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

2 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

+7