DJ Go Kill Person's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 9:57pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:30pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:22pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:30pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:07pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:28pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 3:58pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 22 May, 2015 @ 12:40am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 9:51pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 3:43pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 2:01pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2018 @ 3:52pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 3:39pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2020 @ 11:53am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2018 @ 10:43pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 4:08pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 10:08pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 4:22pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 11:06pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:04pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 11:50pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 2:19pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:12pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:07pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 10:00pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 12:05am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2020 @ 2:37pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 3:03pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 2:05pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:10pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:22pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 9:44pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 2:06pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2020 @ 2:17pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 12:12am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 11:15pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:03pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2018 @ 8:05pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:03pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 10:57pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 9:52pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 22 May, 2019 @ 1:38pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 10:59pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:06pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 20 May, 2015 @ 10:45pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 3:45pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 11:09pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:26pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:43pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 19 May, 2015 @ 10:31pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2018 @ 3:55pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

19 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

20 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30