freXampl's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2015 @ 4:15pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2015 @ 4:22pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 9:37am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2015 @ 4:28pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 9:24am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 3:28pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 10:02am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 3:44pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 10:48am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 12:53pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2015 @ 10:14am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2015 @ 10:14am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2016 @ 2:33pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 8:05am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 6:44am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2016 @ 12:47pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 9:49am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 9:32am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 2:19pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 7:39am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 2:34pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2015 @ 10:14am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 6:53am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2015 @ 10:14am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 2:07pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 9:44am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 12:03pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 8:41am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2015 @ 9:24am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 12:44pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2015 @ 10:14am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 9:48am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 11:01am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 12:05pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 9:41am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 8:45am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2016 @ 12:54pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2015 @ 9:23am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 3:00pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 12:55pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2015 @ 4:33pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 1:45pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2016 @ 12:14pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 9:36am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 12:07pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2015 @ 9:57am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 6:04am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 11:12am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 11:46am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 12:25pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 Jun, 2015 @ 1:03pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 4:50am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 6:09am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 5:11am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 9:42am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 11:48am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 11:36am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2015 @ 8:17am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2016 @ 2:35pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 1 May, 2016 @ 12:28pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30