ONLINE_
sourmustard   Iowa, United States
 
 
The OG Halo is damn good! I'm probably gonna play SCP:SL for a bit and switch over to FarCry 3 soon. Video games rock!

Hope to see you soon! :clickbutton:







Archived bios below!
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A journey that ends in success requires sacrifice. Every time I revisit my Steam page I contemplate if I should give up gaming in pursuit of my dream career in music. I can never seem to come to an answer. What am I willing to give up to produce a project that will outlive me? Could I ever live with myself if I don't achieve my goals? Is aiming for happiness instead of my dreams worth it if I will end up feeling discontent? Is it truly OK to put music over everything including my relationship, social life, free time, and family? I just wish that I could find some answers...

This Steam page fills me with such mixed emotions. I have a strange pride for it. Looking at all of my achievements, completed games, player stats, etc. makes me feel like I have really accomplished something on this platform. But I just don't feel productive. There is a strange duality between my pride for achieving so much on Steam and my shame for wasting so much of my youth. Instead of dedicating myself to music I chose to play games. Instead of socializing with others I chose to lie in bed and wish for death, year after year after year. The moment I start to feel proud about this page, I begin to feel an overpowering sense of sorrow. I ask myself:
"Is this really all that we can accomplish?"
"Is it too late to change?"
"Will we forever be the boy who never had the courage to get up and try?"
I have to come to a decision, but I just can't seem to figure out what I want. Or maybe I know what I want. Maybe I want to be the hardest-working person in the room, the one guy that everyone can look to as a leader in music, dance, and film, but don't believe enough in myself to dedicate time and make the sacrifices required to make it happen.

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I am going to build something great. Step by step.

I must begin to take action in my life and become the warrior, the leader that I was always meant to be.

Games only distract you from what truly matters. They only take up time that can be spent learning to love yourself. Time that can be spent making better memories, making further progress on something you never thought you could accomplish.

I am done with excuses. I am done hiding. I will fail, make mistakes, but the action of a warrior is better than the inaction of a coward.

I choose life. All of the pain, sorrow, and bittersweet beauty that comes with it.

I choose life. :clickbutton:
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About This Profile
- My name usually indicates if I am currently playing a game or if I am taking a break from games at the moment. :screwdriverhammer:
- My Steam wishlist is ordered very meticulously. My dream is to complete the top 125 before I die!
- My summary and comments have a history of my thoughts on video games and my mindset on life for the past eight years. Life is constantly changing and so am I. These comments reflect that. From being depressed from gaming too much in early high school to not being able to play during quarantine to feeling too much pressure and time crunch to play in college.
- Apparently I have a "Poetry" award on my account! I'm not sure why I was gifted it, but it may have something to do with my in-depth game reviews or the comments discussed above. :steamthis: So, to my mystery benefactor: Thank you so much for the award!

Fun facts :sans::
- The first game I ever purchased was "Garry's Mod" in 2016. It is still my most played game today!
- My rarest achievements are almost entirely made up of golf trophies. I was one of the few who played "Golf with your Friends" alone to get par. :vvvvvv_victoria:
- I am one achievement away from 100% completion of "Goat Simulator". I just need the BFF achievement which requires a friend with the game... damn why are these all sad :hopeless:
- Biggest gaming hot take: I really don't like Dwarf Fortress... or CIV VI... or the original DOOM games... or (lord help me) Stardew Valley :colinfacepalm:
- I actually started my college journey in Game Design, but switched into another program. I now aim to work with intellectual property and eventually become a copyright lawyer. :gordon:


So uh.... yeah! Whoever you are, wherever I know you from, welcome to my profile!
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15
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ความเห็น
ONLINE_ 22 มิ.ย. 2022 @ 8: 37pm 
Maybe I'm too drastic sometimes. Maybe not. I don't know my plan anymore. :clickbutton:
ONLINE_ 7 มิ.ย. 2022 @ 7: 48pm 
Hey everyone, I think I should take a break from Steam for a while. I have realized that my entire life I have used games as a way to feel accomplishment without the fear of pushing myself or facing challenging obstacles. This has lead me to neglect real-life responsibilities and push aside things that may challenge me. Many years of doing this has greatly impacted my self-esteem and has made me feel behind my peers. Games have always been a fun pastime, but until I can feel proud of who I am I can no longer feel secure spending my time in them. I'm done hiding and am ready to face the challenges that I can no longer ignore. By struggling with my passions I hope to forge a version of myself that is stronger and more content in life. I hope to wake up in the morning and look forward to more than just a screen.

"We will always struggle. It's the choice to keep fighting that makes us who we are."

Love you all!

OFFLINE :clickbutton:
ONLINE_ 18 มิ.ย. 2021 @ 10: 47pm 
I am officially back! Let this thread be a reminder of the trials and tribulations of quarantine and a message of hope to all those still looking to assemble a rig themselves.

ONLINE:clickbutton:
ONLINE_ 15 พ.ค. 2021 @ 3: 39pm 
Availability for parts has only gotten worse. I’m not sure I’ll even be able to get a laptop for school. I miss Steam so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much…
ONLINE_ 1 ม.ค. 2021 @ 3: 08pm 
It's been a while, so I think I should clarify why I have been gone. I am currently trying to build my own PC, but graphics cards have been going out of stock ever since the pandemic hit. I am doing my best but am having trouble assembling a parts list and getting it checked by a professional in time to buy everything before it goes out of stock. To any friends who have wanted to play games with me, I sincerely apologize and am regretful of my paralysis when it comes to ordering the parts needed to assemble my PC. I wish I could be spending time in-game with you all right now and am excited to get back into things. I promise to keep you all updated and can only hope that we can play games in the future.

Best regards,

OFFLINE :clickbutton:
ONLINE_ 26 พ.ย. 2020 @ 12: 12pm 
I'll be back soon, better than ever.