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Salt Lake City, Utah, United States 
(The Fifth Elephant)
🤥
When does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask? Well, last year, I
think it was a Tuesday.
😚
Cure the disease and kill the patient.
-- Francis Bacon
🤧
If you look like your driver's license photo -- see a doctor.
If you look like your passport photo -- it's too late for a doctor.
🤣
Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history,
dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man
picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and
whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire.
What inner force drove this first athlete? Your guess is as good as
mine. Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.
-- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"[/sp