I remember you as a young boy. Coming to my classroom near the end of school. You always had such soft hands and smelt like motor oil. I never understood but was enamored. Now you're a grown man and you've left me with a sense of heartbreak. I'll never forget the times we shared.

Remember when you used to come to my place after work? You were only interested in one thing, oral. Me going down on you and/or you on me - or maybe 69. Sometimes we'd have a drink and talk before you lifted your skirt to show me your pretty panties or started rubbing me through my pants... Wow, I miss that. I've moved to another area but I'm still on your way home. I'd love for you to start coming by again.

Doctor: Can you cough please?
Me: OH-WA-AH-AH-AH
Doctor: It seems that you have come down with the sickness

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AGM-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

... OH NO it appears as if like, i was just rekt!

i invade u nau