hi, this is ginko/yuckkuh/yucca/apoorlytimednut/dreagan/clippy/dan the doodle/ whatever the ♥♥♥♥ I've gone as over the years. as lame as it sounds, the more time goes on and the more I add to my game library and the more I log in and see names from years ago that I have both fond and melancholy feelings about, the more anxious and saddened I get. I think about all the games I still haven't played, all the games I've barely dipped my toes into, sitting unfinished waiting for me to come back, and I think of the games I'll continue to buy (because why not, I like video games, and its like ill totally play them, right?) I want to experience all the stories, all the lively multiplayers with friends to make, (like I did with many of you!) and people to ♥♥♥♥ on me in, and the just feeling of being a kid again, thinking "oh yeah, well I can just play this game some more later, I wanna play this for now!" and not feel like the time is slipping away from me. I know this is probably some loser redditor type ♥♥♥♥, but i genuinely feel this strong FOMO with all the stories, music, and art crafted and waiting to be enjoyed, or the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ridiculous, but so much fun because the jank and friends lol. I never have time to play anymore, and when I do i cant seem to get back into the games I once was playing happily. I dont know where this essay is going, I think I have some early onset ♥♥♥♥ from my career and just generally being a dumbass, so I hope this is somewhat coherent. I just wanted to convey the feelings I have when I open my computer, open steam and look at this library of games. knowing that so many stories I want to live in may never be lived. all the friends to be made, that I never have the social energy to try to make because i feel like I lost the art of internet friend making. I used to use vidya as a huge coping mechanism, and the worlds I'd jump into or the friends I'd make in online games would take me out of the ♥♥♥♥ ass homelife (though I know im better off than so many out there) and make me feel somewhat ok! it stunted my social interaction skills irl, but I got over that and realized that if i just act normal ill be fine lol. anyways, I am thankful to every single interaction Ive had with everyone on steam, old friends and new, whether you now ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ despise me, or still see me as a long lost friend, whoever may read this, thank you for being the friend that I needed at that time and sharing that experience with me. In some weird way I feel connected to you guys, and even tho im just some rando in some random place with nothing better to do than type a stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ essay at 10 at night before he has to go bust his ass at work, I love you guys, and I genuinely wish the best for all of you!

-sincerely, me/ ethan