Recent reviews by Shimada Kambei

Just when you thought Indiana Jones had finally earned his retirement—BAM!—he’s back at it again, running through crumbling temples, dodging questionable traps, and probably muttering something about “kids these days” under his breath. Plot? Oh, it’s classic artifacts are stolen, maps are revealed, people with sketchy accents want world domination, and Harrison Ford (who must be sponsored by Advil at this point) throws punches like it’s 1981. Does it make sense? Not always. Is it fun? Absolutely. The action sequences are like a nostalgic hug from the '80s, with fewer believable stunts, but somehow watching Indy barely outrun ancient booby traps, it feels…oddly relatable like he’s no longer just a hero, he’s all of us after a long day of Zoom meetings. Also a special shoutout to Indy’s hat and whip for being the real MVPs here. They’re indestructible. Honestly, I think the Great Circle might be just a metaphor for how this franchise keeps coming back around. Will Indy stop adventuring? Not until the hat says so. In summary: A delightful mix of dusty archaeology, unrealistic cardio, and Indiana Jones reminding us all that adventure doesn’t have an age limit…

40 bucks just to play the end of the game

If you've ever wondered what it feels like to simultaneously experience the thrill of victory and the agony of realizing you've wasted hours of your life, look no further than EA Sports FC 24. Let's start with the positives, shall we? Well, there's... um... crickets chirping... okay, scratch that. Moving on! Ever wanted to feel like a professional athlete, only to realize you have the coordination of a drunk giraffe on roller skates? Well, EA Sports FC 24 has got you covered! Get ready to fumble your way through matches like a toddler trying to master the art of walking. And let's not forget the groundbreaking AI! Whether you're playing against the computer or your best friend who's somehow even worse than you, get ready for opponents who have the tactical prowess of a potato and the strategic depth of a goldfish. But wait, there's more! Experience the thrill of spending your hard-earned cash on microtransactions, because who needs financial stability when you can have a shiny new virtual jersey for your pixelated avatar? In conclusion, if you enjoy frustration, disappointment, and questioning every life decision that led you to this moment, then EA Sports FC 24 is the game for you. Just don't say I didn't warn you when you find yourself screaming into the void after yet another humiliating defeat.

Grab a Snack at Night Simulator

you can play it with one hand...tested myself

i scratch my balls with a razor everyday just to remember how painful it is playing this game

i was grounded and my parents forced me to play this game...i swear i am never skipping school again

wanted to play solid snake, ended with snake solid

Are you ready to get your funny bone recalibrated? Because RoboCop: Rogue City is here to reboot your laughter circuits! Strap in for a wild ride through the streets of Detroit, where even the toughest criminals can't help but crack a smile... before they get busted!From the moment you power up this game, you're greeted with more puns than you can shake a malfunctioning circuit board at. Picture this: RoboCop, the ultimate law enforcement machine, trying to navigate the intricacies of human humor. Spoiler alert: he's about as smooth as a rusted hinge.But don't let his lack of comedic timing deter you! Watching RoboCop stumble through one-liners is worth the price of admission alone. And when he's not busy tripping over his metallic feet, he's laying down the law with enough firepower to make even the toughest criminal think twice about jaywalking.And let's talk about the graphics! Sure, they might not be cutting-edge, but there's a certain charm to watching RoboCop's metallic exoskeleton gleam in the neon lights of Detroit. It's like watching a disco ball do the robot dance... except, you know, with more explosions.In conclusion, RoboCop: Rogue City is a hilarious romp through a futuristic dystopia, where the only thing sharper than RoboCop's aim is his wit (or lack thereof). So grab your controller, buckle up, and get ready to laugh until your circuits short-circuit!!

i have less shame in admitting to owning porn games than i do with this game