I'm actually only moderately awesome. When I was 9 years old I was playing on the playground near my house while my mom and dad did parent things. You know how when you really want to impress the kids you would run up the slide instead of going down it? Well that was my goal that day. What I ended up doing was far worse.

I was getting myself psyched up for my run; doing little stretches and bragging to anyone who would listen how wicked cool this was going to be. Just before I took off something distracted me. It was just out of the corner of my eye; I can't remember it was a squirrel or something. Anyway it threw me off just enough that when I got to the jumping point I just didn't jump. I just kind of kept running headlong right into the slide. So the edge of the bottom of the slide caught me in both shins. It sucked, but also kind of ended up being a little bit awesome cause there was blood everywhere. It was totally ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ metal and impressed the local kids anyway.

Also I like cookies.