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*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

Dear heavenly blessed beauty, I have been staring at your profile picture speechless and in awe for the past hour or so. That deep gaze in your star, your perfect font, all of your features just seem to all come together so well, almost angelical in a sense I suppose. The reason I am writing this is to let you know that I think I have found the most beautiful woman to grace us with her presence on our planet, and I am of course talking about you.

I know this might mean absolutely nothing to you, and you probablydont get any of these types of messages/posts on Steam and in real life BUT please understand that I am being as genuine as ever when I say that you are the ultimate dictionary definition of perfection, and I hope that one day God can bestow me with a woman as beautiful as you, I would be forever grateful. I hope that this message finds you well, I do not care if I get a response to this, I am just simply stating the obvious and had to let you know how I really felt.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣦⣤⣀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⣤⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠜⢾⡟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⠃⠄
⠀⠀⠈⠀⠉⠉⠑⠀⠀⠠⢈⣆
⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢶⣷⠃⢵
⠐⠰⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢟⣽⣆⠀⢃
⠰⣾⣶⣤⡼⢳⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⠞
⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠁
⠀⠀⡐⠘⣿⣿⣯⠿⠛⣿⡄
⠀⠀⠁⢀⣄⣄⣠⡥⠔⣻⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠘⣛⣿⣟⣖⢭⣿⡇
⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣽⡇
⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣇
⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⡀⠸⣿⣿⡏
⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇
⠀⣠⣴⣿⡿⠟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷
⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈
you know i had to do it to ya

I can see why his sisters like him so much hes got jizz like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pressure washer like got damn you could kill a squirrel with that thing, I shoved a pressure washer up my sister's cooch and all I got was a stern lecture and a Cease and Desist from the local planned parenthood