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R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 6:22

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 11:10

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 6:23

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 12:00

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 10:11

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 11:01

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 4:41

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 11:04

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 6:32

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Upplåst 4 okt, 2016 @ 5:21

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Upplåst 5 okt, 2016 @ 10:50

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 7:37

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Upplåst 12 mar, 2022 @ 10:40

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 10:55

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Upplåst 2 okt, 2016 @ 2:11

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 8:01

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 10:34

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 11:22

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Upplåst 9 okt, 2016 @ 5:04

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 11:22

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 10:27

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 8:01

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 10:59

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Upplåst 5 dec, 2020 @ 3:44

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 11:01

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 6:35

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Upplåst 12 mar, 2022 @ 13:38

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 7:38

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 7:38

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 4:44

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 6:31

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 4:37

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 10:31

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Upplåst 4 okt, 2016 @ 12:17

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Upplåst 4 sep, 2023 @ 10:01

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 6:21

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 6:34

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 4:48

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 11:14

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 4:49

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 6:08

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 10:38

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 10:22

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 10:37

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 3:50

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Upplåst 30 sep, 2016 @ 4:19

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 10:56

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 11:00

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Upplåst 4 sep, 2023 @ 9:18

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Upplåst 3 dec, 2020 @ 20:52

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Upplåst 1 okt, 2016 @ 7:38

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Upplåst 10 jun, 2018 @ 4:36

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Upplåst 9 mar, 2022 @ 10:07

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Upplåst 10 mar, 2022 @ 12:11

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Upplåst 11 mar, 2022 @ 9:53

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Upplåst 12 mar, 2022 @ 13:59

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Upplåst 9 mar, 2022 @ 12:28

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Upplåst 10 mar, 2022 @ 12:26

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Upplåst 12 mar, 2022 @ 7:36

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Upplåst 4 aug, 2017 @ 3:14

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Upplåst 2 dec, 2020 @ 2:48



Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
3 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
+9

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