Finally, the highly praised Halo franchise has released some of its best entries on PC, neatly assembled in one juicy collection. As someone who grew up only listening to how Halo is great and Master Chief is a super-chad, after playing it, I can say, without a doubt, both statements are correct.

While the title does say The Master Chief Collection, we also get two spin-offs: ODST and Reach, with the latter being my personal favourite in terms of story. Many seem to dislike it because of how bland Noble Team is. Personally, that never bothered me. They never were the focal point of the story. It was always the planet itself, Reach. Noble Team is nothing more than a surrogate pair of eyes for us to witness humanities struggle against overwhelming odds first-hand and the horrors enacted by the Covenant upon the inhabitants of Reach. As for ODST, it was ok. It takes place during Halo 2, but nothing from its story was particularly memorable. Some quirky moments and funny dialogue, but nothing more than that.

Still, the title clearly says - The Master Chief Collection, so let's get back to his escapades. I may get some flak for this, but Halo: Combat Evolved has the worst story, if you can even call it that. There was barely anything. It felt more like a concept. Don't get me wrong, Halo 4 is right next to it, but I still consider Halo: Combat Evolved worse. But then...BAM! Halo 2. We get more lore about this universe, more epic cutscenes, more chad one-liners, and characters actually have some personality. And it is here that Master Chief actually became a chad, with subsequent entries continuing to expand the legend that is Sierra-117. So, even with a few blemishes, I immensely enjoyed this sci-fi space epic; From witnessing the glassing of Reach, helping a friend go out with a bang, to detonating a nuke above Earth like a true chad, there was never a lack of memorable moments.

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But what about the gameplay?

Well, it's simply fantastic, and this much is true for every Halo game. Each entry improves upon its predecessor, refining the gameplay, but at the same time, staying true to that familiar gameplay loop set in stone by Halo: Combat Evolved. Personally, I have Halo 3 as my top pick. It's the culmination of Bungie's trilogy, and its greatness and epicness during gameplay are still unrivalled by any previous or subsequent Halo games.

But, where are my manners; I have yet to speak about the gunplay itself. So let's fix that, shall we - it's an FPS game where you shoot, throw grenades and drive vehicles. But the driving controls are unusual. Rather than driving, I dunno, like in 99.9% of games, with movement keys, Bungie said: "We don't do that here", and instead, your mouse is the steering wheel. Tricky at first, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be drifting on the surface of halo rings like the great Colin McRae.

Each new entry does try to up the ante, spicing up the gameplay, just ever so slightly. Halo 2 has Chief dual wield smaller weapons, which he seemingly forgot how to do in Halo 4 after his cryo-sleep. With Halo 3 came one-time use equipment; Useless overall, but they do look neat in the promotional CGI trailer. However, soon after, an unfathomable evil shook the very heavens, as long and fierce wars were waged over its place in the Halo-verse, with many brave souls lost in the process. Just speaking its name aloud invokes thousand years of bad luck upon your no scope 360 trick shots. I am, of course, talking about sprinting. This putrid thing first reared its ugly head in Halo: Reach, but only as an armour ability. It wasn't until Halo 4 that it finally infected Master Chief, becoming his innate ability. Truly a sad day for Halo fans all over the galaxy. But then again, he was often seen sprinting in cutscenes...

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Sprinting polemics aside, I love how Halo effortlessly creates a heterogeneous battlefield. Encounters pit you against a group comprised of unique enemy units, each with different strengths, weaknesses and mannerisms. We have bird boys, smol boys, wort boys, bug boys, hairy boys, chunky boys, etc. And while headshots mean instant death, some enemy units must be first stripped bare; hairy boys have armour, wort boys have shields, etc. Do note - each protection is weaker against different ammo. For example, wort boy shields are strong against human bullets but weak to plasma-based weapons. But, I will let you in on a little secret - All enemies and shields are weak to rockets to the face.

While massacring half of the known universe is fun, sometimes we need to stop, take a breath and admire the scenery. And this is where Halo got me. Halo isn't like that hot chick who doesn't know she's hot. Halo knows and wants your gaze. So, while Halo: Combat Evolved has inner beauty and Halo 4 is entirely flat, the others were a succulent journey for the senses; From the Covenant and its many species, the mysterious biomes of the halo rings and the burning cities of Reach, all the way to Johnson and his clean-shaven chin that accentuates his magnificent moustache, the Halo universe is beaming with beauty to behold.

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Yet, visual beauty can't work solo. Its age-old accomplice - music, plays a vital role in immersing the player within the games universe. Sadly, this is where a crucial issue occurred, as how does one rate perfection?
Also, Keith David...Mmmm, you can be my Arbiter any day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

But, besides Keith David making my knees weak with his stern, thick and firm voice, sound effects in Halo play a crucial role in perceiving one's surroundings. Being informed about various things during the chaotic fights is paramount for success - possible grenade explosion, what weapons the enemy is firing, etc. All produce distinct sound effects, which in turn help you avoid and instead inflict death upon the enemy.

But before we say farewell, I want to make something clear - I didn't partake in multiplay shenanigans, as I don't care for it. Thus, I can't provide insight into that part of the collection. But if that is what interests you, I highly suggest you read the review from Zionyx.

And with that said, I think it's pretty clear how I feel about Halo. Thus, I'll finish by answering three quintessential questions any buyer may ponder about:

Where is Halo? -On Steam.
Who is Halo? -The big green dude.
Why is Halo? -Yes.

If you crave a specific entry, have no fear I got you:
Halo Reach
Halo CE
Halo 2
Halo ODST
Halo 3
Halo 4

If you enjoy this review, come and read more wisdom from the Gospel of Sv. Prolivije.

A month after the game launched, Bandai introduced an in-game mtx shop that was never discussed prior to the game's release. None who paid 70€, for the amazing game that Tekken 8 is, knew about this before the feature was mentioned in a patch note. Truly disgusting behavior, and something many people seemed okay with, which wasn't surprising given how soft the gaming community has become regarding this type of stuff. I asked Valve to refund my purchase, because this was not something I wanted to support, and I was denied due to "more than 2 hours played and 14 days passed since purchase." Let's just ignore the publisher knowingly misleading their players, and changing the ESRB rating later to include those succulent words we all crave to hear, "In-game purchases."

But Bandai is a double G—greedy and glutenous. It wasn't enough that they were selling stupid skins for 5€ anymore, they also want to exploit the player's FOMO with a Battle Pass now. So, here we are, 2 months after the game released, and the game is now infested with all the hip predatory money-grabbing microtransactions without this being discussed prior to the game's release. Like before, I again sent Valve a refund request, in hopes that they accept it this time. But you know, "more than 2 hours and 14 days passed", and all that jazz. Can't give consumers a way to fight back against these sleazy practices big publishers are resorting to nowadays, by introducing predatory microtransactions in their game sometime after launch to get around negative PR. No, no, no, that would be bad, because of reasons.

What a time to be alive when my 29-year-old slav-ass can say, "Back in my day, games didn't try to bend me over and ♥♥♥♥ me for all my money's worth." I wonder if my grandkids will believe the tales this old Slav will tell them. Or will it just be "Ok grandpa, time to take the yummy pills, you're leaking again." We truly live in a society.

So, while everything I said below in my original review still stands, when looking at Tekken 8 as just a game, my stupid ass is again reminded of how ridiculous this way of perceiving AAA games from 90% of publishers nowadays is. This isn't just a game—it's a product meant to extract as much money from my pocket as possible.

Fool me once, shame on me, Bandai.

For the past few years, I've genuinely struggled to get excited to play any game I own or could buy. My passion for gaming reached an all-time low near the end of 2023. And 2024 brought more of the same—a new year, same old burnout plagued me. Things weren't looking good, bruv.

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I was legit thinking of calling it quits, but only after publishing my cute little flipbook project I worked on for the past 6+ months. Plus, I was once again (still am) tormented by (I assume) RAM issues, despite already getting a brand new kit from G.Skill on the 3rd of January after going through their RMA process.

But that's a story for another day.
Back to Tekken 8.

On (Orthodox) Christmas Eve, I was scrolling through my YouTube feed, and Tekken 8's teaser popped up. I already watched it back when it was first shown—I did not care! Yet, now I did!? After that, I watched the story trailer for the first time. My tummy felt weird—'twas butterflies! I was giddy with excitement. I was looking forward to a game for the first time in forever! And it was a game from a franchise I did not care for and from a genre I don't even like. It was an (Orthodox) Christmas miracle! Then and there, I decided—I must play it day 1! As fate would have it, I had just enough TF2 keys sitting in my inventory to fund this desire of mine. So, I did.

To pass the time until it fully came, I played the demo, loving every second of my 23 hours spent with it. Sure, its content offering was small: only 4 (out of 32) playable characters, the first battle of the story mode, the intro section of the Arcade Quest mode, and a few Super Ghosts fights that let me reach only the Warrior rank. But it's the motion of the ocean that counts! And, oh boy, did it rock my boat! The 26th just couldn't come soon enough.

The gameplay shocked me by how easily I jelled with it. Fast, flashy, and furious, yet it was welcoming to a complete noob like myself. I was loving the learning process, and it didn't feel overwhelming. I even managed to get gud at doing some simple combos and air juggling, so that's nice. And I love the new gameplay addition—the Heat system. Being able to stop my opponent's attack flow by using the Heat Burst attack, which is uninterruptible, is music to my ears. Sure, you can easily block it, but this is where the fun begins—trying to time it, just right! Plus, the Heat Engager and Heat Smash (I do be engaging in smashing) attacks can be used to extend combos and deal even more damage in the process. Simply majestic. The trade-off is that Heat only lasts 15 seconds. But do you really need more than that? Sometimes less is more, you know.

Speaking of cool attacks, Rage Art is present once again. This is essentially a super funky high-damage special move you can only do when your health is low. I can't count the number of times using it saved my noob behind from dying. And I gotta say, they are always a treat to watch. This superbly animated sequence, combined with the game's insane visuals, sparks joy each and every time I watch one play out.

And all the fighting is extra spiced up by the crazy amount of special effects on the screen each punch, kick, grab, or flying leg kick thrown produces. I can't explain why, but I love the sight of them. It makes watching the punch land that much more oh-so-satisfying. The animations are also fantastic, further adding to the amazing feel of the combat.

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The visuals are simply insane. Unreal Engine 5 shines, and so do daddy Kazuya's massive pecs! Everything, from the arenas, some with multiple rooms you can blast your opponent into, to the character design, is superb and extremely rich in detail. Just amazing stuff. But there's one complaint from me—Paul lost his iconic hair and looks like a Karen (why Bamco?).

Also, if you enjoy character customization as much as I do (a lot), then the Arcade Quest mode will be your wet dream. Here, all bets are off, and we'll get free reign over how our fighters look. Will they look wacky? Yes. Creepy? Also yes. Lewd? Hopefully. Giving players more customization options and freedom is always a plus in my book!

Lastly, the over-the-topness of the story seems to be intact.

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I can't wait to see what one of gaming's most dysfunctional families, the Mishimas, is up to. Likely a lot of half-naked men fighting each other, preferably near a cliff, volcano, or maybe a cliff overlooking a volcano. We shall see.

Simply put, it's all (gonna be) perfect!

And after having written 99 reviews, my 100th review will be the first and last improper one. But Tekken 8 deserved this sacrifice, as it reignited my passion for gaming when no other game could.

So, thank you, Tekken 8.
Thank you to all the developers who poured their hearts and souls into this game.
Lastly, thanks to all of you, top bananas, for coming to my TEKtalk.
I hope you all enjoy Tekken 8 as much as I am.
And if you want to see proper reviews, 10/10 dentists recommend the Gospel of Sv. Prolivije.