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Thank you for considering my shlong for membership in the Small Penis Club. While I'm disappointed that I didn't meet the requirements, I understand that size isn't everything in life. In fact, I've decided to pursue a different path for my prodigious asset.
I've taken your advice to heart and am now considering a career in the adult-film industry. With my "gigantical" member, I'm confident it will create a whole new genre: "epic proportions." I'll make sure to send you a signed copy of my first blockbuster film, "The Colossal Crusader."
Wishing you and your club members continued success in your endeavors, and may you find joy in celebrating all shapes and sizes!
Sincerely,
Dr. ToBig4yourMom