Recent reviews by Sisco

I´m bad at it and I love it

It is not a modern game, but it is a modern Half-Life!
And that is more than anyone could wish for.

The universe is a terribly dangerous place...

It took me 2 hours to feel so terrible about the whole situation, that I couldn´t bear it anymore :(
War is hell.

No matter how many years pass, no matter how many times I´ve played this game, it never gets old somehow.
Such a great campaign and one of the best CoDs ever!

This game is very shallow in every gameplay aspect, truly. Story, combat system, characters, everything.

Everything apart from presentation. Because this game is one glorious romp through every gladiator and monumental film trope there is!
AND GLORIOUS IT IS!

The story very often makes little sense. You jump around due to some deus ex machina characters, just because.
The combat is very repetitive and shallow.
The characters, especially the main character, are dull cut-out stereotypes.

But none of it ever really stands out due to the fantastic set pieces, the beautiful graphics and the sheer awesomeness that lies in the executions.
You get funnelled along a great line-up of locations and backdrops (ancient Rome D-Day!), doing some of the most satisfying virtual murdering modern gaming has to offer.

And that is what it comes down to during the about 6 hours it took me to finish the campaign. It is so very enjoyable, so very interesting and so very satisfying!

There is something very soothing to being a war god amongst men...and for that, this is a total recommend!

I commanded a bare breasted fairy to arrange symbols so it would unlock the chestity belt around a giant tree v*gina.

Would totally recommend!

This game is a true tragedy.
At first the genius world building and the atmosphere capture you with a force field, especially if you are into the whole XCOM setting. Although they do quite a few things differently, you recognize all the parts effortlessly.

Unfortunately, you soon are bound to realize, that the gaming parts are quite the letdown. The missions, although well set up, are just a much tighter Mass Effect shooting gallery.
The shooting itself is very very unsatisfying. Has no impact, no class and no flow.

Customiziation is nice enough, but very shallow.

For a couple of bucks this is a nice enough romp for a few hours, nothing more.
If you like the setting, go take the plunge, if not wait for a sale maybe.

I had my fun, hence I recommend it, but they squandered the great opportunity they had with the genuine world they´ve build here...

So very much sub-par, it borders on insult.

While unleashing the force is fun, it is also quite ridiculous and in stark contrast to the subtleness of the movies.

Camera controls are a severe hindrance to prioritising targets and using the force precisely. Many a time I found myself cursing the screen, because I got stunlocked from a dead angle.

The story does hook you at the start, but turns rather bonkers.

Characters are decent enough, but their relationships are so comically told, it´s hard to bother.

If you wanna play a good star wars action game, go get Republic Commando. Or the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight series.
Don´t bother with this one.


Although, Wookie genocide is indeed fun.

The Moment your engine roared like Katy Perry wished she could?

The Moment you were let go by the red lights, to roam the wild country like you owed it?

The Moment you realized, that driving a rally car through the outback is as unforgiving as it is awesome?

The Moment you first crossed the finish line with a car so dented, thrashed and howling that your neighbors thought the Russians are invading?

WELCOME BACK TO THOSE MOMENTS!

This is as great and grand a rally game as the very first Colin McRae games were. And you will LOVE every brake-point-missing, car-flipping, hitting-trees-with-your-backside, landing-on-your-roof and blowing-a-tire Moments as you did, when they still made rally games about driving a rally car through a rally championship!



But don´t cut. Seriously. Don´t.