Recent reviews by Winning is for Losers

A realistic simulation of beeping and booping on another planet.

Or alternatively a realistic simulation of how I shouldn't be trusted with landing/driving multi billion dollar space missions.

Hey I just met you.

And this crazy.

But I'm about to murder you.

Cause this is Day Z.

You had some nice gear.

Baked beans baby!

I'm quite hungry.

I'll eat those maybe...

YOU.

YOU ARE PROUD SOVIET. YOU ARE MAKE COMRADE STALIN PROUD. YOU ARE MAKE MOTHER RUSSIA PROUD.

YOU ARE CRUSH FASCIST INVADER LIKE FAMINE CRUSHES DREAMS OF LATVIAN POTATO FARMERS.

MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS SOVIET UNION WITH INVINCIBLE T-34 COMBAT TANK OF WAR. MAKE FASCIST CRY LIKE SMALL ORPHAN ON DECADENT CAPITALIST YANKEE CHRISTMAS.

A brief introduction to KSP.

1. Build Mun rocket.
2. Crash and burn. Try again.
3. Explode at KSC.
4. Explode in LKO.
5. Redesign your rocket.
6. Make it to the Mun. You are now stranded on the Mun.
7. Deploy rescue team.
8. Design new mission to rescue both your original stranded Kerbalnauts as well as your first rescue team.
9. Look at all the other orbital bodies in the game.
10. Realize you're too terrible to ever make it to them. Cry.

If XCOM:EU simply wasn't XCOM-y enough for you, allow me to introduce Xenonauts.

I'll even give a quick rundown on a typical mission.

"Whelp. Here we are guys!"
"WHAAAARRGBLARBGLRBARL"
"Your squad has been defeated. There are no survivors."

10/10

XCOM meets Mount & Blade, now for a limited time only with an extra helping of colonialism! Filled with all the pointless conflict, racism and general sense of apathay and hopelessness you could ask for! It's like Vietnam but with ♥♥♥♥♥♥!

Conquer defenseless native farmers!
Destroy a rich and interesting culture!
Marry an Aztec waifu!
Grow awesome twirly moustaches!
Take african slaves and make them do all the work, then behead them when they ask to be treated like people!
Listen to more open minded conquistadors comment on the human condition!

Fun for the whole family! (Unless you're an ♥♥♥♥♥, in which case it's not very fun at all)

Probably the most realistic simmulation of life as a law enforcement officer ever created. Features include:

Gunning down armed women in miniskirts with your friends dressed as Mario and Luigi.

Chasing a van full of Neo Nazis in your patrol car. Your patrol car has a penis drawn on the hood and a half naked cat girl in the passenger seat.

Watching Santa ram raid a clothing store, arresting him, and then moonwalking away.

Using your super kawaii Hello Kitty M16A4 to cover your teammate (who is dressed as a some obscure anime character) as you attempt to aprehend Phillip J Fry. And by aprehend, I mean run over.

BRUCE LEE NOISES BRUCE LEE NOIES BRUCE LEE NOISES BRUCE LEE NOIES


WAAAAAAAAA TAHHHHHH

It's like Civ, but with a unit editor.

This means you can have knights wearing dresses that ride wolves and shoot fireballs.

Yep.

Where you and your talking shot gun can spend quality bonding time shooting bonerfarts.