If I'm on Google Chrome, it means I'm laying in bed watching YouTube on my Steam Deck trying to pass out.

I miss them still to this day.



























































































































































I wonder if I deserve to be happy. After being mistreated and abused by my family thanks to their own greed. My dreams feel ultimately crushed, and I'm just trying to remain sane after running away and not crumble thanks to the high pressure that society pushes onto us.
If I were any braver, I would've taken my own life multiple times over.

My last dream is to ultimately just find someone to love that can love me back and get rid of this accursed last name that weighs on me. I don't know who it comes from. I'm a bastard that, other than my first name, has a completely different middle and last name that I've known for the majority of my life.

If I disappear someday, it's probably safe to assume I actually did indeed die. I haven't written it anywhere online until now, but I've been having some symptoms recently that may be related to some dangerous things that can quickly result in my demise. I am, however, too poor to get it checked out and am thinking about just welcoming my fate with open arms. It's not like I have anyone IRL left anyways.