PorkOnRye
Rúsio Correia dos Santos   Sao Paulo, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Level
40
World's Best Dad
100 XP
 
 
Just Another One of Those Impostors

Shall we do it?

~~~~~Rest In Peace, Scottish Drunk. First man to rule the badlands.~~~~~
As few will know, from humble beginnings arose Scottish Drunk. A man proud of his heritage and knew a way or two on how to sling a pipe. Eventually, the poor lad met his fate at the blade of another Demo. You ask as to how this has any relevance, seeing as how you just respawn and carry on, but this match was unlike any other he had faced. It was an old Highland bet, his name, his honor, and his weapon of choice were on the line. It was nothing but the laddy's abundance of self-confidence that had him with his tail between his legs. And so, we witness the fall of a memorable old friend, all due to carelessness and lack of caution. It is truly sad to say he has gone, but let this stand as a reminder of one of the best bombslingers this side of Teufort.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~We're gonna miss you buddy, cheers.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actual Summary:
A dude just here to play some games, make some friends, and try his hardest. Not too hardcore competitive, but he's open to all kinds of gameplay. Friendly, funny, and a tad bit mad, but overall pretty nice. Appreciative and thankful of the community, he tries to help out in any way he can.
I am CatfishKin, and would appreciate it if you would acknowledge me as such.
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OverPosh
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Vinesauce Vidya
46,802 Members
TF2 Outpost
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bubby
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SombieAlies
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Hydroliam
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NicJoy
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grilin18
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Sharkbaithoohaha
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"Memorable" Quotes Over The Years
"2+2=We're Screwed" -IRL
"It takes a lot of work to be a Jackbag" -IRL
"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, you're lucky I've got this pack of Fruity Chew here." -GMod
"Go have a baby." -IRL
"Nuclear Fallout has left us with this brutally silly ♥♥♥♥." -GMod
"Never mind her, she's just a sandwich." -GMod
"You're a good man, Charlie Brown." -GMod
"With the speed of Kenyans!" -GMod
"Quiet, my body requires nutrients." -DayZ
"Hello I'm Marquis how are you?" -DayZ
"Oh wait, I killed him. That probably came off as facetious." -DayZ
"I will kill every last one of you, unless you tell me where you got that food!" -DayZ
"I was under the impression that you were NOT about to kill all my friends... But you did." -DayZ
"HOLY COW IS THAT A CRYING SANDWICH OVER THERE?! Those are my favorite kind." -DayZ
"Hahaha, ah controversy." -Civ 5
"We're all livin' in human condition, but he is speakin' it." -GMod
"♥♥♥♥♥, I fight tables." -Starbound
"This door is cowboys, and it tips it's hat." -Crypt Worlds
"FOR THE MOTHERLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND! ♥♥♥♥, forgot my weapons." -GMod
"Clerics don't give a ♥♥♥♥, Clerics do what they want. Get Drunk Get Paid. Do ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥." -???
"It's not a female, but I feel compelled to bone it." -Online
"Mecha Wings: For when you want your chicken to have that nice, metallic taste." -S.K.
"It's easier to SAVE the Princess than to RAISE the Princess." -IRL
"Trade pants for chicken to keep on kickin'." -DayZ
"I Imagine the smell of badassery smelling alot like Pine-Sol." -IRL
"Wait guys, I gotta download Hitler's arms!" -GMod
"STOP WATERING YOUR PLANTS RIGHT NOW!" -Animal Crossing
"I'm not right after that Orange Juice, man..." -IRL
"♥♥♥♥ man, I clicked outta Jesus!" -Online
"Join us son, we're making blood angels!" -Online
"Don't do drugs with the forest owls." -Online
"I wanna force-feed you frosted donuts." -Online
"I would NOT trade my girlfriend for unusual hats." -IRL
"I wanna make love to these nuggets." -IRL
"Aw, did I just get one of those Life Achievements?" -Online
"MY FACE IS BIRDS, MARGARET." -Online
"Give me two of these and one of those and I can solve the universe!" -Online
"Dude, my grass tells me things." -Online
"Jus' beat 'em wit' a flashlight." -GMod
"I'm gonna rub you like a BARCODE." -Online
"They were my wontons, go to hell!" -IRL
"I eat gum for a living." -IRL
"Midget love is just another form of Minecraft." -Online
"Walt Disney WAS a hotel hero." -GMod
"You Cinematic Bitchcake." -Online
"I have to take it out and whack it now for Mr. Clean." -IRL
"(Drops the groceries)" -IRL
"Hey baby, what's your bloodtype?" -DateSim
"All I can do is create units, and I can't support them; I am basically the epitome of a stereotypical deadbeat dad." -Civ 5
"Dude, I'm so Rye right now." -Starbound
"I'm going to go back in time and make your grandparents ♥♥♥♥ some Egyptians." -IRL
"What the hell is a squird?!" -Online
"I was having a fight with Turban People!" -Online
"You lowfat little ♥♥♥♥♥." -IRL
"If blood tasted like chocolate; I'd so be a vampire." -Online
"Don't be a dweeb-- Excuse me, girls." -IRL
"I am threatened by these feet." -Online
"Every time you sing, it makes me soft." -IRL
"I didn't choose the dug life, the dug life chose me." -Shovel Knight
"Jesus made alcohol poisoning" -Online
"I found out that I'm starting to crave Gasoline. It's either that, or I've taken a large amount of bath salts." -Online
"Are you calling my balls a horror story?" -Online
"I'll kill you with cholesterol." -IRL
"You could stick a stick in there so damn deep and it'd be gone by Tuesday" -Online
"Venezuela's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up place, man." -Online
"I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ princess; you wait on me." -Online
"Kill your potential buyers." -Team Fortress 2
"That ♥♥♥♥'s weaponized?" -Online
"PATTERSON COMPELS." -Online
"You know like a lighthouse you suck." -Online
"I'd do that knee." -IRL
"They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the dude's blind." -IRL
"Columbia is just a metaphor for drugs." -"In The Car"
"I'm speaking Anime!" -Online
"I was actually trying to pay attention." -Online
"We'llbangokay?" -Online
"I lay down fire like a firetruck." -Team Fortress 2
"Christian family, my ass!" -Online
"Hey there, I'm gonna go stab your friends." -Team Fortress 2
"#Tables?" -Team Fortress 2
"That's not right, but it's damn funny." -Online
"Yaaay! Fractures!" -IRL
"Unless I see some Lemonade, I'm not letting you past this broken ♥♥♥♥♥♥' bridge!" -Pokemon
"Barbecue's good for good luck, too." -Online
"How to roleplay; For thirty year olds." -"In The Car"
"Go live in Disneyland" -IRL
"I'd rather buy keys with subscription fees" -Online
"Let's grapple some damn bears!" -Online
"(Hephaestus) Hepatitis: Forging more than just swords." -"In The Car"
"Welcome to 'Nam'Nom; we blow ♥♥♥♥ up." -Online
"Was it made by Zynga?" -TF2
"Imagine if you stabbed yourself with the LSD stick..." -Online
"That's my 9/11..." -IRL
"We're like white people trying to defend our kids from the horrors of daytime television." -Left 4 Dead 2
"If you think about it, Baseball is like Human NASCAR." -Online
"Men, prepare your power tools, for today... WE BUILD A TREE HOUSE!" -Civ 5
"(I am gald.) Nice to meet you Gald, I'm Dad." -Online
"It's a tough world out there, just remember that when the cards aren't in your favor, strip down to your undies and vigorously dance on the poker table of life." -Online
"His eyes are like google!" -Online
"Excuse me, but did you say really really high? Because I can't hear you over all these blunts." -PAYDAY 2
"Grrl, I checked the entire oxford dictionary on beautiful and it's synonyms, and each citation's got a picture of you." -Online
"All of my flies are dead, but my spiders... Are eternal." -Binding Of Isaac: Rebirth
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of JACKASS" -Online
"Maybe she's born with it; Maybe it's Religion." -Online
"I'm gonna go make a sandwich... (I'm gonna go make a sandwich.)" -Online
"(Bonjour™ by Apple?) More like, Au Revoir!" -Dota 2
"Roll the 1/1, Neil Armstrong." -POSTAL 2
"Any Mexican worth his peppers would know that ♥♥♥♥." -Online
"HAMBURGER STRAßE!" -Deutsche Klasse
"Not on my watch, my watch only tells time! ...And it's time for you to die!" -Online
"I kiss with my whole face. *Shakes Violently*" -Deutsche Klasse
"'But I do not want to be the sky.' Says pig, therefore he jump." -Minecraft
"I'm not gonna sit here and be lectured to by a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Llama." -Starbound
"I tape blunts to my toaster." -Online
"Well, you can just go suck a blowdryer." -Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number
"There's nothing more pimp than a bus stop." -IRL
"It's called 'AAAGH', or at least that what the guy who died called it." -Guild Wars 2
"Kk, I gotta go unload my pride on the Dishwasher, be right back." -Online
"It's been my dream for as long as I can remember, and honestly, I don't remember that far back." -Online
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Items Owned
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Trades Made
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"Memorable" Quotes Over The Years Pt. 2
(Sorry traders, the showcase is only for the text space. Not that's there's anything here anyways.)
"Yeah, the first thing I thought of was dead babies." -Online
"It's like Chernobyl meets Avatar." -Dota 2 Reborn
"Feelin' Temperate as a motherfucker up in here." -Sims 3
"Life is the malware we can't uninstall." -Guild Wars 2
"Hey, can I borrow 15 bucks? No hobo." -Terraria
"Great job you broke the game --(Do you know where the salsa is?)" -IRL
"HOLY SHIT I LIVE NEXT TO AN OCTAGON!" -IRL
"Mahfuggah wanna see some dolphins? *Gunshot* Y'ALL BE SEEIN' STARS NOW!" -IRL
"Yeah can you say that again? My ears were full of Anime." -100% Orange Juice
"Man, I would stick my dick in the Milky Way." -IRL
"I swear, kids these days have more ink in their hair than they do in their pens." -IRL
"No, just think about it... SLAVES!" -IRL
"I keep getting scared, thinking that the door's going to mug me." -Fallout 3
"Pregnancy is pretty hardcore, dude; You're 3D-Printing a Human inside of you!" -Online
"I can't go to hell, I'm all out of vacation days." -UNDERTALE
"God bless this school, but god forbid, the lunch..." -IRL
"I don't want to get soaked by a Mormon chick." -Online
"Getting into Heaven was as hard as Hell." -Jotun
"He was a Wolf in Sheep's clothing, and the Sheep was a communist." -Online
"He was probably visited by Jesus in a wet dream." -IRL
"I've been through the DARE program, I know how this shit works!" -Guild Wars 2
"Bitches like them sound like a bad investment on Shark Tank." -Online
"Oh shit I forgot to go seduce some cripples." -Katawa Shoujo
"The lord gave you two feet, and you used them to become a walking failure." -Rocket League
"If you gave me a spoon, a fork, and a puddle of blood in the middle of a living room; I could tell you a hell of a story." -Online
"I call it a magic trick, but it's actually a gun." -Online
"It's like if Roseanne was a tiny purple midget." -League Of Legends
"I wanna make battle armor out of strap-ons." -League Of Legends
"The word 'Hot' never escaped his lips, but now that he's single, it's flying out like ones out of a stripper's thong." -Online
"White man on the streets, Kluxxer in the sheets." -Online
"We're all taking a ride on the dick that is Life." -League of Legends
"I don't have the rectal capacity for that, but you make me wanna try." -Online
"Of course we curse-- We're all sailors here, just without the boats." -Online
"THAT AND LIKE SOME OTHER WATER COMMERCIAL ARE LIKE BUTTFUCKING
AND PUMPING THAT SHIT OUT LIKE INBRED KIDS AFTER A KENTUCKY FAMILY REUNION." -Online
"It's like talking to a wall that will poke you when you're not looking at the wall." -Online
"Like, I just need to program in giant monster dicks." -Monster Hunter Generations
"I believe many peoples' first mistakes were when they didn't wrap the umbilical cord around their neck on their way out of the womb." -Online
"SHOW ME YOUR MAGIC, GAY MAN!" -Online
"The NSA's already listening, I'm just giving them a show." -IRL
"WHAT FUCK I DIE ROCKET." -Battlefield 4
"Foreskin and Seven Years Ago..." -IRL
"Streak across the baseball field, steal a bat, and take a swing." -Online
"(I did all I could.) Sucking dick isn't much of a skillset." -Overwatch
"We just equated Smoothies to Harems." -Online
"He's MOVING, and SHOOTING, at the SAME TIME!" -Counter Strike: Global Offensive
"Sparkle harder you son of a bitch, you won't stop me from hugging you." -Online
"If you punch a bird... It's gonna get damaged." -Online
"Yeah I watched Midget Porn once. (Who the HELL are you talking to?!)" -Online
"I'm gonna put my Chodehog in your Hunkrat." -Overwatch
"It's more than a threat, it's DiGiorno's." -Dungeons n' Dragons
"I'm gonna go wash my hands and hope it cleanses my soul." -Online
"Do you think they had McChickens back then?" -IRL
"So you've got razor blades cutting all your major arteries; (You're in a bathtub, by the way)." -Online
"If they have a pulse; I just can't do it." -Online
"Life's a game, although you may never feel like P1. You might never see the top of the scoreboard, but you'll know that it was never the numbers that mattered, it was the memories. You may never have had the chance to save and start again, but that's the unique playstyle that makes the game worth playing. Our Press Starts may not have been the same, but surely our Game Overs will be. In the end, we may never know what lies beyond the game, but the wonder left inside it we will carry with us forever. To my fellow NPCs, to those who played in beta, and to those who have yet to log in, all I can say to you is... Game on." -Online, Noah Ordaz, 2017
Rarest Achievement Showcase
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10,060
Achievements
110
Perfect Games
82%
Avg. Game Completion Rate
Comments
SombieAlies 16 May, 2020 @ 7:47pm 
Noah, Not even gonna lie, I was not your best friend but I was still friends with you... It's been kinda hitting me about how many people I have lost in my life and you came up and I just thought how you brought a smile to my face everytime I saw you... I know you are in a better place living the best life... Not trying to be selfish but we all miss you man, I tried to think how different everyones life would be if you were still here... We miss you brother, Love you....
Kushi 11 Sep, 2019 @ 4:19am 
It's been a couple years. Everyone misses ya. It's still hard to process that you're gone and that you never got to make those video games you always talked about wanting to do. Hope where ever you are in whatever afterlife you believed in that you're doing good. Love ya man.
Khayshi 17 Dec, 2017 @ 8:54pm 
Thank you for being my friend for all since first grade. Thank you for all the laughs you have given me, and the smiles on my face. I hope one day we can see each other again. Goodbye, my friend
3334 Numjoy 13 Oct, 2017 @ 11:11pm 
I miss you man, I assume you have already conquered whatever afterlife there is out there. Save some room on that throne of your enemies for us. Also I SWEAR TO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GOD IF YOU ARE PLAYING SPIRAL KNIGHTS I WILL CONTEND THAT THRONE.

Miss you man,
Riley
3334 Numjoy 17 Jun, 2017 @ 12:10am 
@Poop Mist I just saw this Noah passed away due to a rare health complication :(
Don Keedik 6 Jun, 2017 @ 4:12pm 
Wait hello? What happened to him??