"Is east left or right?"

"f*ck off i shoot dogs in the head im not into pet play" - dog punisher

"they got stinkf*cked with NO peanut butter"

"You didn't have your moment with Gary!"
"Yeah, and I didn't have my moment with Al-Qaeda either"

"It's not gay if it's a dog."

"you hate everything good in this world..."
"i don't hate... you..."

"You're like a sick f*cking dog, gregg, you need to be put down."

"i look in the mirror and play with my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥"
"i bet you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ do"
"no, i don't need a mirror for that ♥♥♥♥"

"think about eating a sea salted horse ♥♥♥♥..."

"a wave of my wand and i BLOW you away!"

"I'm like a car runnin' on peanut butter"

"how old are you?"
"what do you mean"

"dude don't dirty mike me"

*someone burps*
"JESUS DUDE, get a f*cking hold of yourself."

"in the navy it doesn't matter what you are, you're just a ball hog ;D"

"whats your middle name gregg?"
"four"

"im the reason people lock their dogs away at night"

"if you could have any super power, what would it be?"
"the joker"

"girls with big tits scare me"

"my mom said the hard R at applebees"

"I'M SO MAD I GOT A BONER"

"god i love ♥♥♥♥"
"i recorded that"
"no please don't"
"give me 100 dollars"

"burned my balls so good earlier making pancakes"