Edating Prices

$10: 1 week of morning texts
$15: 2 weeks of morning texts
$17: e-kiss
$20: e-footjob
$25: e-kiss
$30: vc

Hoe hoe hoe on the wall. Tell me, who’s the biggest bad ♥♥♥♥♥ of them all?

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up.

my ingrown toenails pulsate to you, my queen

i’m gonna goon to ur paws