💥Mój stary to fanatyk Biedronki. Pół mieszkania zaj#bane paletami. Codziennie tam chodzi, czasem po kilka razy, nawet jak nic nie potrzebuje, bo „może akurat rzucili coś ciekawego”. Po całym mieszkaniu walają się gazetki promocyjne, słodziaki, fajniaki, produkciaki, a nawet plastikowe koszyki – „to pamiątki z najlepszych łowów”. Ale najgorzej to te palety. Mamy ich więcej niż przeciętny magazyn – „do ćwiczeń”, jak mówi. Mama już trzy razy próbowała je wywalić, ale stary stwierdził, że „jak usuniesz palety, to przestanę chodzić do Biedronki” i temat się skończył.

Codziennie trenuje w domu parkour. Rozstawia te palety po całym salonie i robi tor przeszkód. „Ćwiczę technikę na sezon wyprzedaży” – mówi. Skacze, przeskakuje, czołga się, robi salta przez kartony i imituje omijanie klientów z wózkami, normalnie Janusz-komandos. Jak ktoś by to nagrał, mielibyśmy viral na TikToku, ale mama zabroniła, bo „wstyd na całą rodzinę”.

W weekendy zmusza mnie i brata, żebyśmy grali w jak to nazywa: „Symulator Biedronki” – my jesteśmy klientami z wózkami, a on nas omija, krzycząc „alejka z nabiałem wolna!”. Opracował nawet specjalny system punktacji: 5 punktów za ominięcie dziecka biegającego po sklepie, 10 punktów za uniknięcie kolizji z emerytem, a 50 za zdobycie ostatniego produktu w promocji. Czasami każe nam ustawiać się w kółku wokół niego, żeby ćwiczyć „wychodzenie z oblężenia przy regale”. Raz nawet ustawił na środku salonu lodówkę turystyczną jako „punkt strategiczny dla mrożonek”.

Kiedyś utknął w Biedronce między paletą jogurtów a mrożonkami. Próbował przeskoczyć, ale coś poszło nie tak i ratowali go strażacy. Niestety mama musiała później jechać odebrać go z komendy – zawinęli go ze sklepu, bo wyrywał się strażakom i krzyczał na cały głos, że „nie opuści pola bitwy, zanim nie dorwie tych filetów z kurczaka po 12,99/kg”.

Jak wraca z zakupów, zawsze chwali się nowymi rekordami – ile razy udało mu się ominąć palety bez zatrzymania, ile produktów zgarnął z najniższych półek w trakcie biegu, czy na ile paragonów skasował zakupy, żeby wykorzystać wszystkie promocje. Ma nawet osiem telefonów z aplikacjami Biedronki, żeby z Shakeomatu mieć więcej kuponów, i nosi je w specjalnym pasie na klatce piersiowej jak Rambo. „Biedronka to nie sklep, to styl życia” – powtarza.

Kiedyś zapisał się nawet na kurs parkouru, żeby poprawić zwinność. Instruktor pytał, czy przygotowuje się do jakiegoś turnieju, a stary z dumą powiedział: „Do sobotniej promocji na proszek do prania”. Ostatnio zaprosił sąsiada, żeby razem trenowali przeciskanie się między paletami. Sąsiad przyniósł własną paletę, a potem zaczęli wymieniać się gazetkami promocyjnymi jak kartami kolekcjonerskimi. Stary planuje nawet zrobić osiedlowy turniej – kto pierwszy zdobędzie produkt z końca alejki podczas symulowanego „oblężenia”.

W niedziele (te niehandlowe) ma swój rytuał – chodzi oglądać Biedronkę z zewnątrz. Twierdzi, że musi „naładować baterie” na poniedziałkowy rajd po promocjach. Mama grozi rozwodem, bo ostatnio chciał wstawić paletę do sypialni, „żeby się czuć jak w domu”. Twierdzi, że mieszkanie „powinno odzwierciedlać jego pasję”.

Ojciec ma specjalną szafę z „mundurami Biedronkowca” – różne wersje koszulek, czapek i kamizelek, żeby „wtopić się w tłum”. Na największe wyprzedaże ma specjalny kamuflaż – przebiera się za paletę i zostaje na całą noc w sklepowej alejce, żeby rano jeszcze przed otwarciem sklepu złapać najlepsze promocje.

Ostatnio też zamontował w domu atrapę kasy samoobsługowej, żeby ćwiczyć skanowanie produktów z maksymalną prędkością. Organizuje zawody rodzinne, kto zeskanuje więcej w minutę.

Na osiedlowych grupach na Fejsie regularnie wdaje się w wojny o Biedronkę. Pisze, że „te palety to esencja ich stylu – tylko prawdziwi mistrzowie zakupów potrafią w tym chaosie złapać prawdziwe okazje”. Raz poszło grubo o to, że ktoś skrytykował rozstawianie towaru, a stary w odpowiedzi napisał elaborat o „pięknie nieprzewidywalności Biedronki”. Miesiąc wstydziłem się wyjść na osiedle.

Niedługo Święta, a w naszym domu zamiast tradycyjnej choinki, stary w salonie stawia stos palet ozdobionych gazetkami promocyjnymi i światełkami w kolorze logo. Pokaż mniej

why the ♥♥♥♥ am i so obsessed about fpe? i can't go one day without watching fpe videos on the 'tube it's so gemmy ev&oe people here say it's troonslop. it reminds me of when i was in school before i graduated and became a clittycel that browses the sharty (ev&oe i was a chud since i was like 14).

mommy please sit on my lap i want to feed you chicken sandwiches yes mommy you're my favorite female ever okay mommy i'll get your sandwiches mommy do you want me to feed them to you and push them down your mouth into your throat okay mommy you seem lazy do you want me to push your jaws with my hands to grind your food ok mommy thanks mommy i will do everything for you mommy

САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО СЛОГА СРБИНА СПАШАВА САМО

+rep Traded my skins for his platinumum.I went first and he didn't scam me

any time i’m within a like 10 foot radius from just a somewhat attractive guy i’m daydreaming about all of the things i want him to do to me. it’s getting bad. like super bad. ESPECIALLY AT THE GYM, god there are so many men grunting and sweating and the muscles GOD just choke me already. sometimes i have to stop my workout and debrief in the bathroom for a few minutes because WHEW. maybe i’m just ovulating but guys its really bad i’m so touch deprived

NOW THAT U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR U WILL DIE IN THE NEXT 4 MINS….. MY NAME IS DAVID…IM 3 YEARS OLD…..MY DAD SHOVED PENCIL LEADS UP MY ASS MY MOM BEATS MY WITH A KNIFE 50 TIME A DAY,ONE OF MY EYES R MISSING THE OTHER IS BLEEDING MY DAD LOCKES ME IN THE BASMMENT WITH NO WINDOWS NO AIR NO LIGHT AND THE ROOF IS ALWAYS LEKING THEY ONLY GIVE ME TOLITE WATER AND BREAD CRUST,COPY AND PASTE THIS TO 50 OTHER THREADS IN 15 MINS OR U WILL WAKE UP AT EXACKLY 1:00AM SEEING A LITTLE BOY AT THE END OF THE BED WITH A BIG KITCHEN KNIFE. PPL I HAVE KILLED: SUMMER: ONLY DID 15 BEFORE HER BEDTIME , NEXT MORNING SHE WAS FOUND WITH A DEEP CUT ON HER NECK U SOULD HAVE SAW IT IN THE NEWS IN 1987 ANDREW: HE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE,NOW HES HISTORY.HE DIED A SLOW AND PAINFULL DEATH.ON TV IN 1979 RACHELLE: ONLY READ HALF OF THIS AND DIDNT EVEN DO WHAT I TOLD HER NEXED MORNING THE PARENTS FOUND HER HAGING IN HER CLOSET, THERE WAS A LOT OF KNIFE MARKS ON HER BODY,ON THE RADIO 1947

Would like to play Rimworld more (I collect kidneys)

Cant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stop gooning to soytan. ♥♥♥♥. Its kinda unbeliavable, actually. I brush off any kind of porn or hentai if it doesnt include soytan in some form. I have lost all will to have normal female interaction and/or going outside. I'd rather much goon to a poorly drawn picture of soytan's feet than the highest quality porn or sex. Just… HNNNNGGGHHH!! Anyone TSMT? What can I do to satisfy my degenerate urges? Maybe I can pay a foid on the 'fe to dress up as soytan and let me suck her toes and we can roleplay? What do 'eens?

When my transwife Lilith passed away from the virus (not from her valid surgery please don't spread fake news), I remember crying to this masterpiece beside xer hospital bed. Now everytime I feel sad, my wife's boyfriend Jamal Tyrone comforts me in his own special ways.
Thank Lord Fauci for the vaccines and may ScienceTM bless us! Awomen

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i used to love playing toontown i kinda forgot all about it. i should get back into it maybe
<[LE SMILING ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SPACE]
work for me has been real busy so much so to the point where i got promoted and im gonna be starting trade school soon which means less time here. i was getting jfs anyway but every now and then i see what new things are added, like the pseudo-cord voice chat, that's pretty fun.

Hello, Doctors! Soyberg here with another heckin blogpost. Regarding the previous news bulletin, I've been slowly warming up to the Soysphere again, realizing life outside of it is boring as ♥♥♥♥. As such, this website WILL be worked on and I WILL be more active within it. Thanks for over 80 pages, I couldn't have done it without my Wife's boyfriend's permission.
-Dr. Soyberg

I'm a trans woman that does amateur voice acting for fire emblem and zelda hentai and also does 3d modeling for ps1 aesthetic indie games. If AI is allowed to replace me, what will I do for a living? As a trans woman I can't leave my house due to the fear of violent chuds and other fascists that want to perpetuate violence against transbodies. I hate capitalism.

Hello soyteens, Moot here.

Doll has made me the Admin of the Sharty, I am looking forward to being your "Admin Thrembo"

I'll make a few changes to how things work here

1. /raid/ will be closed, I know this will make you all leak but this is a Soyjak website, right? Not a raiding website.

2. /pol/ will be closed, its a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and filled with 3rd worlders, I'll b& anyone who protests this, and recommend therapy

3. I'll split /soy/ into /soy/ and /sp/

>/soy/ - Soyjaks >/sp/ - Soyteen Culture

This will make /soy/ be more about soyjaks, and /sp/ will be about whatever the ♥♥♥♥ you guys get excited over

4. I will fire 2b15

5. I will steer this place into being a more wholesome place, for basedjaks.

I am so FRICKIN done with Soyjacks, holy CRAP. I've made my peace with Wojaks, inferior Rage Face successors they may be (they can be humorous when used properly and with restraint), but Soyjacks bring NOTHING of redeeming value to the table. They're nothing but mean spirited, zero effort, cringe inducing, bottom of the barrel trash, and every new variant seems to get progressively worse than the last (this one doesn't even remotely resemble the guy in the photo that it's supposed to mock). And just like cockroaches, this blight upon memedom JUST. WON'T. DIE.

For CHRIST'S sake 4chan, get your goddarned crap together. You've always been a cesspit of losers, but at least you knew how to make quality memes during your glory days.

HOLY FLOCKIN JITT. I want to bang the Soyjaks.party mascot so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the sharty I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fricking sex with Soytan. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Soytan's tight nu-male soyssy. I want her to have my babies.

obsessed BWC aryan cacagentinian subhuman hyperborea (x)skin mickczarnuch sudaca poopsmearedskin ywnbw KEEEEEKKK nordcucks ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dutchskin uploaded by X ip swarthoid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Soybaby cacacel sharty Libtards ruined /qa/. I miss in 2018 when me and the frog squad would come to /qa/ to make fun of Weab Mafia pedo cucks after laughing at soybaby libtards, Hiro even had the /r9k/ Pepe spinoff board. But then when falseflag incel Shartycucks raided /lgbt/, they blamed frogbros to the jannies and made Hiro delete /qa/. These immigrant Soybaby shartycels then subverted all of 4chan against frogs and then made it a cringe & bluepilled soycucky weab cattle Demonrat commie glowpot BBC support site. Frick all soybabies and shartycucks and weabs

Maybe ey ey man man man come come come come... come... me have a gif for you PAM gif one gif for you , listen to me SEELENCE or me troll this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ match and you cry seelence shh yea seelance or me... seelence or me troll the game you see? im ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ troll the match okay no problem muted muted aaannd troll the match bye bye , bye bye.. eh no , im troll im troll , gg , im troll. noooo no good team a green is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ baiting on b no helllppp , the purpul is crying okay...

Wha.. What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?!What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?! What you say?!What you say?! What you say?!♥♥♥♥ you man ♥♥♥♥ you FuG you (cleans his monitor) , ♥♥♥♥ you , NOW ME TROLL THE MATCH , fug you , ♥♥♥♥ you man. What you say?! What you say clutch or kick?

вам нужны бесплатные читы русские сказы палавойни STRIKE Читы перейдите на -> www.strikecheatmolodec.ru

Hey guys it day nice right? well
sure it is nice
so well i want find a game is good
if you can't well it is okay


ok just look down i just bad at English


i look game

═══════════ ⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️══════════════════
❤️ Friendly Guy ❤️
🔥🔥 We can be friends for future games 🔥🔥

⚡️⚡️ Have a wonderful day⚡️⚡️
✨✨ Stay safe & take care✨✨

✅✅✅+REP Nice profile ✅✅✅


════════════⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️═══════════════════

Free Jokes! Sorry if they're crude!

🎽 * 🍖 * 📒 * 🐛 * 🎄 * 🚘 * ⚡ * 🚗 * 🐠 * 🐳 * 🚙 * 🚕 * 📒 * 📘 * 🔋 * 🎈
ㅤ* 668 – The neighbour of the beast.
ㅤ* I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
ㅤ* IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
💙 * 🎄 * 💛 * 🌸 * 👃 * 🎫 * 🥗 * 🏀 * 🌏 * 🎍 * 🏓 * 👑 * 👾 * 🚙 * 🥞 * 💃

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ I"m giggling!

-REP psovo mi majku. losa osoba generalno. keep yourself safe :)

0110111

huj kurwa dawaj kurwa jaranie kurwa jaranie kurwa jaranie

Leaked Hillary Clinton Emails Revealed NATO Killed Gaddafi To Stop The Formation Of A United States Of Africa

russian spy

hi

♥♥♥♥♥ are so cute /OwO\mg (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when yoUwU howd one iwn yOwOuw hwand awnd it stawts twitchwing its wike its nuzzwing yoUwU(/ω＼) òwòr when thwey pewk up and wook at youwu wike" owo nya? :3" hehe ~ pwenis-kun iws hwappy to see mwe!!（＾ワ＾） and the mwost adowabwe thwing evew is when spewm-sama cOwOmes out bwut theywe weawwy shwy sowo u hwave to wowk hawd!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ bÙwÙt whewn pwenis-kun awnd spewm-sama mweet and theywe bwushing and aww wike "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~pwenis-kun is so adowabwe (●´Д｀●)

Hand it over...that thing...your sunset sarsaparilla star bottle caps.

+rep. This player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills.

wait, wait, wait....... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_O Not to be a freak, but.. Just when i tought you couldn't get more attractive.. You started playing video games. Nicely done, M'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman.

+rep an excellent comrade

PRIORITY ALERT: NOVA PROSPEKT EXOGEN BREACH.
PERIMETER COMMUNICATION STATUS ZERO.
INTERNAL STABILIZATION TEAMS DEPLOY STERILIZERS IN SUSPECTED INFECTION BLOCKS A5, A7, B2.
PRIORITY ALERT: INTERNAL STABILIZATION TEAMS, DEPLOY STERILIZERS.
DEPLOY...

+rep bizon

+rep much love

Characteristic:
Name: [APG] VENOM
Power: 135
Endurance: 120
Intelligence: 110
If he's evil don't get too close for your own good.

vrati se nazad u bolnicu

lidl jednostavno bolje povoljnije

Долбаёб, конченный

lol

𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎:
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙻𝚈 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌.
𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖.
𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖.
𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚢𝚎.
𝙳𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢.