Papysh's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:35am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:59am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 4:29am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:37am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 5:09am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 31 May, 2014 @ 1:42am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2014 @ 2:05am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2017 @ 12:41pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 28 May, 2014 @ 12:35am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 6:50am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2017 @ 6:39am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2017 @ 11:50am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2014 @ 1:40am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 6:44am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2017 @ 11:53am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2017 @ 8:21am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 6:48am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 4:38am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2014 @ 5:35am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2014 @ 1:36am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 May, 2014 @ 12:47am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2017 @ 12:17pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2017 @ 4:47am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 4:42am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2014 @ 5:37am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:37am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 May, 2014 @ 12:38am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:50am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 5:10am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:53am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 26 May, 2014 @ 8:32am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 4:48am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 4:47am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 5:10am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2014 @ 1:28am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2014 @ 1:51am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 27 May, 2014 @ 6:41am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2017 @ 5:01am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

11 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30