whats lomg hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

What's pink, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

what do you call a lesbain dinosaur
a lickalotapuss

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?