Recent reviews by Really toxic to newer players

I Used to Pray for Times Like This

The game is alright, but whoever implemented this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass matchmaking should never be let near a computer ever again.

It's like playing Synthetik 1 for the first time again. Except that somehow, Synthetik 1 now looks boring in comparison.

I'm going to be that guy and put a negative review.
I don't think the game is bad. It does some things very right, such as the ability to drag bodies, the proximity VOIP.
It's also always fun to just be stuck on choke points and see tens of players dying around (The Crown belong to TR btw). It fills a gap in shooters that got created by AAA games being ♥♥♥♥. I'm also happy for the devs, as the massive success of this game is a dream coming true. It's an inspiration for anyone willing to make games.

Now, comes the messier part. Yes I know that it's early access and that things are bound to change. But at the same time, a bunch of things would probably require a complete rework. The reason of that is that the devs have little clue on what they want the game to be, and most likely initially designed the game to be significantly slower than what it currently is. That leads to the game being very frustrating for no good reason. So here's a list of the gripes I have with the game.

- Buildings have 10 million floors for some reason. And there's many building you can hide in. You always have people camping those buildings, and it's also always super tedious to take them out. It's even worse when you spawn on someone, they're on the top of the building, and you have to spend 15 seconds going down the building, as fall damage is annoying.

- The health system is a mess, and it makes playing anything but medic a complete pain in the ass. It's good to encourage teamplay and all, I get that. But the problem is, other people won't necessarily do what they're supposed to. Oh you got shot randomly by a sniper and now a fart kills you? Too bad. Should have played medic. I also won't add anything new if I talk about armor.

- Speaking of snipers, I do love how they're as annoying as ever, and that's even with all the changes to ♥♥♥♥ them over that we know. The map design being completely garbage more often than not means that you WILL die randomly by a sniper in an unreachable spot. What makes it even worse is that some maps feel like they were specifically made to make snipers annoying. You have a playable area, and then you have that huge landmass where nothing is going to happen, other than being sniper nests.

- The refusal to add shotguns is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hilarious. Dying fast close range in a game where everything kill you super fast is a big no-no because balance. But the sniper problem? Perfectly fine. The fact that half of the unlocks are STRAIGHT downgrades? Perfectly fine. The fact that some guns outperform effortlessly everything else despite the fact they were made to be short range? Perfectly fine. I know it's not a competitive game, and I'm also not asking for perfect balance. But refusing to add a staple gun archetype for balancing reasons is just bad faith.
You could also maybe make up the fact that you don't see shotguns in wars and such. But when do we see revolvers?
The real reason is probably that the devs are scrubs that got ♥♥♥♥ on by shotguns.

- It felt like Battlefield 3 on PS3 with 24 players had more vehicle presence than this. It's probably a mix of them being too fragile for the amount of players, or the fact they take too long to respawn. I've read that the most optimal way to play the armored vehicles isn't to use them as a way to break the frontline as you'd expect, but it's to just camp the spawn, farm kills and be close enough to the the auto repair and ammo refill.

- The fact the devs refuse to add some sort of minimap is mind boggling to me. Sure, there is a map that you can use to have an idea where you are. But when things are crowded, you can't see ♥♥♥♥. You can't even know which your facing. Like yes, it's not that much of a problem when you know the map to hell and back. But have you see the size of the maps and the amount of them? Why does learning such a basic thing have to be as tedious as that.

- The speed at which you can capture the points, coupled with the fact you can't spawn on them if there's someone, just leads to the action being completely scattered and unreadable. Every game I think i'm doing well because we manage to do a coordinate push all until the enemy base, I realise that the other team did the exact same thing and captured all the points near our spawn. And then both teams end up doing headless chicken stuff, trying to see where the action is, or farm kills at spawns.

In other words, if you're hesitant to buy the game because it's in early access, feel free to do it now. It's unlikely that the game will change massively.

Unreadable mess.

This game is simply phenomenal in all fronts. If you actually like video games, it's a MUST play.

What starts like a neat little trick, becomes very boring, tedious and buggy. What's even better is that it puts some time constraints on cryptic and buggy ♥♥♥♥. If you fail it, sometimes you have to go through a puzzle you already completed.
Neat idea, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ execution,

As long as I can't use a separate binds for grabbing an item and shooting the laser, I will deem this game to be utter garbage.

UPDATE:
I was gifted Devil Daggers. I played it a bit and I thought it would make me enjoy this pile of ♥♥♥♥ more. After all, it did improve a lot of things that were very boring and tedious. Such as :
- Not having to waste 3 minute of your life every run to get to the part of the game that becomes interesting.
- Not having to rely on sound cues only, which become unreliable once the game gets messy. The sound cues are way more pronounced and you get a red outline for an enemy close to you that you can't directly see.
- Not having bounds where you can fall to you death and enemies pretty much always spawning there.
I can't stress enough how much those three changes would have made devil daggers more enjoyable, and how cool it is that it's here.

Now you might ask, why do I give a negative review?

- The game artificially deflates the amount of needed inputs. Congrats bro, you made your game require a minimalistic amount of input while adding more stuff on top of it. I love having my run end because i didn't double tap space fast enough for the dodge. I love when I want to shoot the laser, I accidentally grab the bigger crystal despite trying not to. So you're thinking, just drop the bigger crystal and shoot again, right? Well no, the crystals that you wanted to shoot the laser with just got absorbed and now you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥ as the swarm you were about to annihilate is still here, and you have lost your tool to deal with it.
- There's still no crosshair. How much of a fart sniffer do you have to be to not at least make it an option? Like it already exists when you want to use the laser shot. It would also make the following point far less tedious
- Scuttle bugs are so tedious to deal with. Sometimes you can 2-tap them using the shotgun, others you won't. The thing that makes it so aggravating is that pellets visually all connect. Their stunned/blue state is very cool. It doesn't trigger consistently, their hurtbox becomes minuscule meaning that your shotgun will be even less reliable, unless you're close enough to have a full view on them. But hey, you can use them as jump pads. Most reliable way I found to get myself killed accidentally. Oh and did I mention how random their aggro feels? That's actually very cool, because your runs will end because a scuttle bug randomly decides to get up and plunge on you. Even when you react with a shotgun blast, it won't always save you :D
- Spiders have that very cool behaviour where they will decide to just ♥♥♥♥ off and waste your time. I don't even know what triggers that. It's not the amount of enemies or crystals. It's just a random ♥♥♥♥ you that happens like 10% of the time.
- I have a small nitpick with the spawn logic, where the position of the enemies can feel unpredictable and make some runs way harder than others. Sometimes you'll have the power up spawn at the same time as snakes, with the snakes being right in front of the power-up. There you're forced to shotgun boost yourself in the air. Other times the snake will spawn far enough and later, to the point where you can simply bunnyhop from the edge of the map and get it freely. That also contributes to the game feeling very random, with some runs being way easier than others.


Now you'll ask why I keep playing it if I sound so mad. To which I'll answer : sunken cost fallacy. I managed to reach the final boss 3 times, which means I'm actually close to getting that achievement. It would be a real shame to just stop there, right? haha
At least the addiction part on the store page is very accurate.

The optimisation is beyond garbage, it's unreal

It's like the best modern shooter, and on steam now.