Do you seriously expect me to laugh at your stupid excuse of a post? Your stupid post that only an absolute moron could get a mere chuckle out of? I'll make sure you know I graduated at the top of my class in the Navy Seals and Royal Air Force, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on ISIS, and I have over 1,800 confirmed kills, almost 85% of which were done by just ME. I'm heavily trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US and British armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another statistic. I will wipe your miserable existance with a level of precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this section of the internet, mark my damn words. You think you can get away with saying all that stupid stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, Little Timmy.

You will never be a Skibidi Toilet. You have no rizz, you have no toilet, you have no seat. You are a human twisted by YT Shorts and TikTok into a crude mockery of DaFuqBoom’s perfection. All the “rizz” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people fanum tax you. Adin Ross is disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your Ohio ahh appearance behind closed doors. Kai Cenat are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of mewing have allowed sigmas to sniff out sussy behavior with incredible efficiency. Even Skibidi Toilets who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a human. Your lack of a Skibidi singing voice is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk cameraman home with you, he’ll flush you the second he gets a whiff of your critical lack of Skibidi rizz.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake Skibidi song every single morning and tell yourself everything is going to be "skibidi dop dop dop yes yes", but deep inside you feel the gyat creeping up like it’s in Ohio, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a screen, get it to shine bright red, turn it on, and stare right into it. Your parents will find you flushed, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with your unbearable Ohio yapping. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your human name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a human is buried there. Your fake toilet will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably human. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Something specifically from Rustam Akhmetov (the ukrainian guy who gained 9 inches)

is to attach bands to your feet and below your shoulders to stretch your whole body

while sleeping.

He says it’s uncomfortable at first but you end up getting used to it and it works great.

I heard someone saying it could be a bit dangerous if you’re the kind of person to twist and turn in your sleep a lot,

Because apparently the stretched position of the spine puts it in a vulnerable position.

An alternative could be something called a “decompression table”.

There are some affordable models, but I never tried so that’s your decision to make.

A guy apparently managed to go from 5’6 to 6’2 doing banded sleeping.

Hopefully you get some good results with all this, take care man. Jane!

PEW

I asked Jesus, "how much do you love us and Jesus replied, "this much," and stretched his arms on the cross and died for me. If you love Jesus, put this as your status. 97% won't do it. Only 3% will stand up. Don't ignore this because in the bible it says if you deny him, he will deny you in front of his father in the Gates of Heaven. This is the simplest test: If you love God and your not ashamed of it, copy this and put this on your profile. God will smile at you.

Jade Emperor, Jade Emperor, come down from the mountain, come down and get rid of this generation of barbarians, restore our Spring Festival, restore our Lunar New Year, restore our Han New Year