I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul. There is no species of fauna in America which I have not personally killed and skinned. I will never sire a child because I loathe women. I bathe only once a year in an icy pond. I have burnt down one church per month for the last thirty years, and I will never be brought to justice because all lawmen fear me.


"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised." ~ Zap Branigan

"... he's not runnnig it, but let's be honest, he's running it." ~Aushlin

"If a man comes to the door of poetry untouched by the madness of the Muses, believing that technique alone will make him a good poet, he and his sane compositions never reach perfection, but are utterly eclipsed by the performances of the inspired madman." ~Plato

They make barbie dolls in missouri, we kill ♥♥♥♥ hear! ~Tami T.

(refering to women) ... they can never be to short, fat an' old ~ Jose H.

"L" word to me, it always meant in translation: "Legs Open Very Easily" ~ Debby K.

"A woman's test is material. A man's test is a woman...if a man could ♥♥♥♥ in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house." ~ Dave Chappelle

"I wouldn't even poke that on Facebook" ~ Omar M.

“The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters.” ~ Genghis Khan

“I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.” ~ Genghis Khan

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." ~ Mark Twain

"Price is only an issue in the absence of value" ~ Entrepreneur

"...To be a man is to be a satyr, rampantly virile and voracious in appetite. A man is defined by his steely hard-on as much – if not more – than by his muscles or his toughness. A man is ready to ♥♥♥♥ in a bare instant. If you aren’t able to have an erection so hard that you could ♥♥♥♥ concrete in the blink of an eye… well ♥♥♥♥ son, you’re just not a man..." dr.nerdlove (The Selling Of Masculinity)