It all started 53 years ago, back when I was a full grown little boy.(?)
One day, while I was jumping through the street, I happen upon a large vehicle,
which clobbert me violently into a nearby window.
After getting my bearings,
I looked up to see a young boy with a gameboy advanced SV blue edition in his tiny little hands.
I had always dreamed of owning a gameboy advanced SV blue edition,
but my family could barely even afford gold.
He looked up at me with thoes big, vibrating eyes, his two lower teeth quivered in confusion.
"Mu'h ma' my", he said softly...
This was my chance. I ran at him screaming, stomping my feet, scrambling his brain in sheer confusion.
I shoved him as hard as I could and grabbed his gameboy advanced SV blue edition
and I ran out the door.
I leaped back down the street towards my home.
I pulled open the door by his big, smelly handle and I le- and I le- and I le-t quietly.
I snug past my many parents, who shuts myself into my room.
I had made it.
Finally, a gameboy advanced SV to call my own.
I will have to keep't hidden from my family.
I shan't ever allow the- allow the kn- the kn- the know.(?)
I took the gameboy sp (?) in my small beautiful hands and proceeded to slide the switch to on-mode.
I will never forget that wonderful sound it made the first time I turned it on.
That wonderful nintendo logo splashed my screen in sheer light.
I blew at my candle and my l- and my l- and my l- and my l- and my l- ti- delight (?!!?§).
I wandered out the literally nothing to get-
the literally nothing to get-
the literally nothing to get to my first quest- the sv blue edition experience.
Suddenly, a small man appeared on screen.
Shortly after, the word "MaRio" started flashing behind him.
I ass- assume this man is the man known as Mario.
I had seen adverts showing him on television.
The title of the game slowly lowered itself in from the top of the screen.
"Super Mario... and the legend of the stolen gameboy advanced sp blue edition-?"
My heart sank as I noticed the dead pixel in the lower left region of the screen.
Beggars can't be choosers I thought to myself however, and I pressed the start button with my Fingi.
A vast landscape with clouds, bushes and bricks appeared before my very eyes and there he was...
The familiar Mario-man I had known and loved.
I pushed left on the- on the- on the- left.
Mario himself dashed to the left. Dust between his sleek blown shoes filled the air.
Amazed by his speed, I quickly pushed "Y" to test his turning abilities.
I was not disappointed, as Mario changed directions in a matter of seconds.
I leared the other button functions as I played.
Read about Mario to dash at high speeds-
high speeds to mihgdlgn unknown.
It allowed him to leap so high in the sky that I screamed at fear, that perhaps he maybe wouldn't come back down.
Yet he always did, which engaged me in the game world even further.
I quickly grasped the consepts of jumping large gaps, avoiding enemies and climbing a big, big flag pole at the end of each level.
I got to the fourth level without much problems.
I looked into a nearby mirror and smiled at myself with one eyebrow raised and I said loudly:
"Does this game think I am not good?"
"I can handle anything it throws my way."
"Uh ahu hu, uh" suddenly, the screen turned black, and I just don't mean black, I mean so black, the screen looked like a big, deep, deep hole.
I said out loud:
"Is this a hole I see before me (echo)?"
And it echoed like a hole.
I wiped a large chunk of sweat from my flopping brow.
"That was weird.", I thought in a big bubble next to my head.
The level loaded, but this time it took a lot longer.
Mario stood in place, so I pushed right and he began running.
I noticed the graphics were getting all jumbly, also the music was becoming less:
"Da da da dadadada", and more:
"BWHM BWHM BWHM BWBWBWBWHM"
I was lean (?) the first gap of the stage to jump over.
As I drew closer, I readied my sweating pink thumb over the "A"-Button.
"The gap was here", I pushed the button but Mario didn't jump, he just screamed.
I pushed left as fast as I could and he grounds to a halt, right at the edge of the gap.
I pushed "A" frantically and repeatedly to try and make him jump and he just screamed and screamed.
The camera zoomed in on my face as I hammered that "A"-Button, trying to make Mario fill that air above him his body.
But all that filled the air were my friend Marios screams of fear.
I said: "No more."
I pulled the cartridge from the gameboy advanced sv and I threw it out of my window.
It land-
it landed in mud outside and I laughed and I closed the window- dow.
I turned around and I saw that the cart. was back in my gameboy.
Mud oozed from its card slot- slot. Gag- gag said to myself:
"No- no- no- no- no- no- bee."
The gameboy turned itself back on.
Marios face appeared with hyper realistic skin pours and bloody chiped lips.
He spoke softly:
"You stole me from my humor. Now I, Mario of nintendo of America®, curse you forever!"
Screamed loud, louder than undergolyofthe-ofthenight.
First some weight- weight- weight- weight- twenty- twenty- twenty- twenty- twenty- twenty- twenty- twenty-
ridden my- ridden my disgu- disgu- disgu- disgu- disgu- disgu- disgu- disgu- disgu-.
Run up the level- the level- the level.
Pushed "A" and Mario just screamed again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again- again-.
Notice- Noticed his skin began to turn-
began to turn slightly green.
"What on earth is happening Mario?!?!?", I asked Mario.
"Every live you loose. I will make you rot. HA! HA! HA!"
I asked: "How can I beat the game with only screams? I cannot jump gaps by screaming."
"♥♥♥♥ you.", Mario said quietly.
I screamed. I decided not to beat the game in fear of me rotting.
I decided that I was going to do the right thing.
I ran out of my room, pushing my febrile mother right out of my way in the hallway
I ran down the street staight towards the boys house.
Thunderbellow (?) and rain pitter pattered on my crying face.
Finally, I reached the house.
I leaped up to the boys window and let myself in.
The room was dark.
"Boy!", I cried out. "Boy! Are you there?!"
I turned on the lightswitch.
As the room lit up, I saw many people dressed in black.
They all cried softly.
"Who the flip are you people?", I asked with tears running down my chinny chin, chin.
"We are this boys family.", a woman replied. "I was his mother."
She pointed into the centre of the room where a small coffin was suspended over a hole.
My heart sank. "Is your boy inside that box?", I asked with an eyebrow raised and a finger on my chin.
"Yes. A crazed person broke into our home, ravaged our son and stole his childhood by killing him.
Everything went slow. I dropped to my knees. I held the gameboy tightly in my clenged fist.
"Could this be my fault?", I asked myself quietly. This mother walked over to me with a big, fat tear in her eye.
She told- ched me: "It really means alot that a stranger would let himself into our home to pay respects to a boy he didn't know."
"I'm sure you two got along great." She then pointed to the priest and said: "Please lower our child into the earth."
The priest did just that.
He pulled on a lever with a shiny red ball on it.
The coffin started going down.
I shoved the mother from me and I sprinted towards the coffin.
I jumped on that coffin and the road snapped.
I began falling into the earth with a child inside.