December 31st 2024 - I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my ♥♥♥♥ desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2025. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white ♥♥♥ everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.

I had just become the first person to ♥♥♥ in 2025. I look over my ♥♥♥ filled desk and chair with pride.

So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to ♥♥♥ in 2025. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of ♥♥♥ everywhere. Oh yes, I am now superior to everyone on the planet, bow down to me, the ♥♥♥ lord of 2025.

Happy new year, losers.

+rep After a good game in cs2, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a cs2 lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

IT’S COCKTOBER!!🎃🌑☠ YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT? 😏😛🍆💦 TAKING YOYR GIRL PUMPKIN PICKING AND UR GONNA PUMP HER WITH SOMETHING REAL NICE🎃😛😛💦💦🍆. ENJOYING SOME DELICIUS PUMP-♥♥♥ SPICE LATTES.🍵🎃HORNY-WEENS ALL ABOUT BEING SPOOKY👹👺SO GIVE YOUR GIRL THAT ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆AND MAKE HER MOAN 💆LIKE A GHOST👻. SEND THIS TO 20 OF YOUR SEXIEST😛 AND SPOOKIEST HOES😍😍. IF YOU DON'T🙅♂GET 15 BACK THE GRIM REAPER☠IS GONNA ♥♥♥♥ YOU REAL GOOD WITH HIS SCHYTE ON ♥♥♥♥♥-LOWEEN ❗🕜❗

Dipping your balls in isopropyl alcohol feels good.
Feels like Satan sucking your nuts. The irradiating sting of a thousand kisses from the nether. It clenses the balls of their slime, their impurities. Maked you quite the bit more humble of a man. For you have now put your plums through the D-Day of nuts. They come out red, burning for hours. But they smell of the poison that lurks within your treasonous soul corrupting your mind. It blisters the evil away.

Hair salon Peroxide, and 100 percent hospital grade rubbing alcohol on the sack keeps the sack humble. 90 percent of your thoughts come from the ball sack and not the brain. They must be pure my son.

The coin purse is meant for dipping. I dip mine in Ranch dressing. The cat loves that.

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my ♥♥♥♥ out. “♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own ♥♥♥, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?

I need help!!! My 36incher is too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ big, and I'm not even black. It's awful. My ♥♥♥♥ is so large I just cannot lug it around any longer. It is so insanely huge and has caused so many problems in my life. I cannot go to airports as they think I am sneaking something in. So every time I go, I get groped as they try to take my penis off thinking it's a bomb. My mother and father disowned me after seeing the length of my shaft. I had a girlfriend once, she loved me for who I was and did not care for this deformity, actually loving the hot sexy sex, but one day... I took off my jeans and my penis flung out, smacking her and flinging her out the window. She died 2 hours later. She was the only woman who ever loved me. My penis is just... too ginormous. It has caused problems for myself and the people around me. For this reason, I will be ending it all. My penis has taken over my life... but it cannot take over a life that does not exist.

+rep