Recent reviews by MighTy

Just like in Brokeback Mountain, you set off into the wild, ride your pals, and play with your balls.

In the first round, in the first brawl, when the mayhem first descended, one stood. Scorched by the hellish chaos, his spirit seared by the infernal battle and tainted by a thirst for supremacy—he chose the path of unyielding domination. In his relentless pursuit of victory, he knew no mercy; and with bloodthirsty determination, he scoured the arenas, seeking retribution against the ravenous beasts who dared to challenge him. He wore the crown of the Animal Annihilators, and those who faced the might of his fists named him... the Party Slayer.

The age of reckoning is now. Drop and kick until it is done.

Mutant Tribes Matter

For far too long, the indigenous people of The Forest have endured terrible suffering at the vile hands of rich colonists from the aviation industry. Innocent families have been forced to live in constant fear of being bombarded with deafening aircraft, brain-damaged tourists, endless hate speech and incorrect pronouns. What once was a virgin paradise they could call home, now has been left brutally violated, chopped up, eaten out, and covered in toxic luggage.

Peaceful mutant inhabitants have faced a relentless barrage of violent oppression and vicious persecution ever since the privileged invaders descended from the sky. They are repeatedly mercilessly misjudged, misgendered, and mistreated. Getting roasted in front of their friends, rudely left hanging, or being served up a flat stew has become common practice. The fully clothed bigots not only have the audacity of exploiting their distinguished culinary traditions, but have even begun appropriating their renowned decorative culture. Surrounding themselves and their stolen property with The Forest's beautiful diverse people and animals in the hopes of appearing more inclusive.. They're not fooling anyone.

How much longer will this cruel onslaught of atrocities last? The time has come for justice to be served. We must expose and prepare the despicable savages who have wronged the brave mutant natives to no end. If only our barbaric society could be as harmonious as theirs, the world would be stunning. In tune with nature and brimming with exquisitely bare people who come in all shapes and sizes. We should all aspire to one day be able to identify as them. Next time you set your crooked feet on their sacred land, drop your filthy clothes and humbly apologize to each one of them. Bow down and offer them the reparations they so ravenously need.

Let any being that stands in my way
Experience the full extent of my wrath
For I am the harbinger of death
The bane of all who dare oppose me
My wand is true and unyielding
As I cast Unforgivables from the dark abyss
A wizard, scorned by this deceitful world
Finds solace in the mastery of the Dark Arts

My only ally, the incantation upon my lips
Whispered, spoken, summoned with a flick
Amidst the mortal ignorance that permeates this wretched place

I am alone
I am shrouded in darkness
And yet, my path is clear

And now a message from Jimmy Valmer!
T-thank you, thank you, wow, what a terrific audience.
What do you call a gamer having the time of their life? An Elden Lo-lo-lo-luh-lord with a bunch of m-mm-muh-m-m-mmuhh..m-m-maidens.

Wow, what a great audience.
We hope you enjoy playing with our pp..PC puh-p-port. A lot of hard w-w-work goes into it and we really appre..ap-ap.. and we really appreehh.. and we really appree.. ap-ap-p.. and we really appreciate your continuing spectacular support. :D

https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2767429552

Hopefully, we can port Bl-bl-bl-bl-blu-bluh..bl-Bloodborne next.

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man dropkicking and blowing up the homeless.

Choose yer own journey, here we be free. But be wary of thieves and the treacherous sea. Before setting course for what ye desire, form a trusty crew and get the proper attire.

Explore, plunder, go to battle, be brave. Steer clear of danger, or risk meeting a watery grave. Dance, chant, toast and drink. Enjoy yerselves mateys, but try not to sink. May the wind be on yer side, with treasure as yer guide. May barrels be filled, and yer hearties be skilled. May spoils be plenty, bananas times twenty. May ye conquer the sea and not be too mean. Perhaps ye'll become the best pirates ever seen.

Set in a vast, beautiful world with mesmerizing water physics and great sound design. Sea of Thieves is a joy to venture into with anyone you care for. Just remember to be on the lookout for other pirates. Many of them are murderous thieves. They'll kill and steal with a smile on their face. And while that can be disheartening at times, lurking dangers like these also make for more exciting and fulfilling journeys.

Yet ye'd be wise not to lower yer guard, even if the coast seems clear. Ye wouldn't want to get stuck with yer booty out when pirates appear.

Although combat is pretty straightforward, PvP can be quite the rush. When encountering enemy ships, ensuing battles are often dramatic and thrilling as you're trying to board and sink each other by any means necessary. Stock up on food, planks and firepower to be ready for a fight. If you'd rather not engage in PvP, or don't want to risk losing your loot, it's usually not too difficult to evade pirate attacks. Keep an eye on the horizon and check for anyone lying in ambush. Try not to corner yourself when docking your ship and keep the anchor raised for a quick escape.

These are not the only perils ahead. From the depths of the sea, great beasts ye shall dread. Through storms and waves yer ship shall soar. True fear ye'll know after the tremble from a Kraken's roar.

PvE offers a lot of fun, adventurous content, including Tall Tales, Voyages and World Events. These have a variety of challenges and enemies to overcome, along with vast riches waiting to be uncovered. A Pirate's Life is a great addition and serves as a nice incentive for new players to get into the game. Personally, I'd like to see what Rare could do with One Piece, or a world set in the Viking Age some day. They've done a fine job capturing the pirate fantasy in Sea of Thieves.

Now hoist the colours, make sail! Adventure awaits. Time to start yer tale.

Gameplay:
Fast, hot and loud. 8.5/10
Graphics:
Wet and pleasing. 8.5/10
Story:
Short and disappointing. 4.5/10
Music:
Major turn-off. 2/10
Overall:
Satisfying rides. 7.5/10

"Life finds a way."

Walked down a slope.. broke a leg.
Roared to some dino.. became its dinner.
Went for a drink.. they drank my blood.
Tried to find a mate.. got cannibalized.
Trusted someone.. bit me in the ass.
Didn't notice the cliff.. splat.
Finally became a fully grown adult.. starved.

"Life Death finds a way."

Now, if they just added some tents, a few bears and vodka, this would be the perfect camping simulator for the Russian outback.