Macho Man Krab's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 9:57am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 11:02am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 10:15am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 11:03am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 10:41am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 12:02pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 12:19pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 4:51pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2020 @ 5:18pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2020 @ 7:26pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 8:57pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 11:27am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 11:02am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2020 @ 6:39pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 12:05pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 12:08pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 9:44am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 4:18pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 11:40am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 11:06am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 8:59pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 12:00pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2019 @ 10:35am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 1 Jun @ 1:19am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 12:26pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2020 @ 5:08pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 12:31pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 11:39am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 10:28am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 11:18am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 10:08am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2017 @ 10:03am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 12:38pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 10:55am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 9:27pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 10 Jun @ 1:23am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2017 @ 12:16pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 10 Jun @ 1:12am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 10:18am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 4:55pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 4:44pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2020 @ 3:18pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2020 @ 4:14pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 9 Jun @ 11:43pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

14 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

1 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30