Recente recensies door Protein Huntress

A fatbellied lard-neck sheriff rips open a prison cell. We see his intense face accentuated by his many chins. He is glaring at a perverted old lawman whacking it to a porno magazine. He grabs the magazine, rolls it up and starts hitting him with it.

15/10

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Anyway, this is an extremely strange retro horror/adventure game with a KILLER( ba dum tsss) sense of humour. You walk around different areas looking like a character from Mortal Kombat and you can access the map at any time to travel to different parts of a small, weird town.

This is one of those old games where figuring out what you are supposed to do is next to impossible and a walkthrough(at least, for me anyway) is almost mandatory to beat the game.

You play as a young man of nonspecific age who wakes up not knowing what the hell is going on. All around town the people are really creepy and weird. There's a military guy who has no legs or groin who guards a nuclear missle base sitting in town, there's a house with some old wasp lady(who doesn't factor into the game's story at all. you don't even have to go to her house to complete the game), there's a butcher shop with blood everywhere and dead cats all over the place and there's a giant druid-looking building called "The Lodge".

You find out that you're supposed to try and become a member of The Lodge by the end of the week and to do so you have to complete tasks for the really cool guy who runs it. A guy, who talks with his mind in an awesome voice.

I don't think I would have been able to figure out what to do honestly but basically in completing the tasks you will talk to all kinds of people and the story is littered with creativity and incredibly dark campy humor. In this story you will see many cutscenes with the bad actors being hilarious in front of crappily animated early-3D backgrounds and it's a wonderful sight to behold. It seems as if the developers thought of everything as there are so many secrets to be found through dialogues and doing things in certain orders that triggers funny responses and, in some cases, exclusive death cutscenes. Any time you die it will trigger a cutscene of the main hero being brutally murdered in whatever manner you managed to die in the game.

I think that if you like the early Peter Jackson films like Bad Taste or Dead Alive(known as Brain Dead in some countries) then you should really consider giving Harvester a play and maybe even look at walkthrough to see what this game has to offer. Once you complete all of the tasks and get into the lodge finally you have to complete the "trials" of becoming a lodgemember and it's really cool to see what lies inside. It's a huge building with so much personality and creativity around every corner and once you get through it you have access to an awesome twist that explains what is going on and a choice between two solid endings.

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After hearing things about this game I always thought that it would be worth a look and boy, was I right. Now this game probably isn't for anyone, as people seem more sensitive these days(no offense) but the non-pc humor happened to be right up my alley.

I do feel bad for the original makers of Harvester as, after they had completed the game it took them a year or two to finish the programming and by that time the it was already outdated as technology was rapidly improving around the time this game came to fruition and the game didn't sell very well.

Nightdive Studios made the game accessible without using DOS and polished up a bit for easy use and I really love them for redoing a bunch of retro games and selling them on Steam. They did System Shock 1 and 2, Turok, Shadow Man and on top of that they're doing their own modern sequel or remake of System Shock!

While I do wish the original creators of Harvester could be getting more money for their game on Steam(I am almost positive they are not but correct me if I am wrong) I am definetely happy to give my money to the great Nightdive Studios.

You know, many YouTubers have made Let's Play's of this game.
You want to hear a hilarious idea for a Let's Play of Surgeon Simulator 2013?

"Bruce Banner plays Surgeon Simulator"

R.I.P. "E" key.

They overhauled the crap out of this thing. I actually beat Quake a few years ago(2015) back when you had to buy the expansions separate and you had to click mouse3 to aim vertically.

It's Quake, the OG 3D FPS game which is a simple maze and keycard boomer shooter with some really really well made environments(especially for early 3D). The game still holds up today with it's great controls and simplicity and monstrous enemies. The only coding thing that I would say sucks is the fact that grenades from the grenade launcher often pass right through the shamblers.

They've updated this to where you have cleaned up graphics, achievements, automatic vertical aim, includes the two expansions as well as two new ones, the ability to restart the level when you die without losing all your weapons(quicksave is still an option) and even multiplayer.

This is great if you're like me and you love playing these types of games and getting all the achievements. It doesn't quite have the personality of Blood or Duke 3D but the atmosphere is still pretty interesting and the enemy variety makes for fun shooting.

Out of the two new expansions, the first is kind of mediocre and the second one is really inspired and contains some awesome levels that are designed really well. A lot of them reminded me of Dusk(which is a good thing). I kind of wish they had created some new enemies for these levels but the levels themselves make up for this with their creativity.

Have fun beating the living toledo out of crackheads with pipes and laugh as skinny crackheads crawl at you on all fours and vertically fly 50 feet up in the air and die after you shoot them with a taser.

One of the many games that I was ecstatic to see had made it to Steam, made even better by the fact that it was visually redone!

This is among the many 90's puzzle shooters with a ton of content that I grew up with like Doom and Quake. They all won me over with merits that were shared amongst eachother and a few that were unique to each game(Quake's 3D engine and Nine Inch Nails references, Duke Nukem's over-interactive environments and awesome references/humour, and Doom's... just being ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Doom!)

Also, it includes all of the expansions for a hell of a lot of gameplay. My only complaint being that since the original expansions(before they were re-released by 3D Realms) had better music since a lot of it was copyrighted. I don't remember all of it but I do remember the phenomonal Robocop theme being used in one of the Washington, D.C. levels originally. Other than that there isn't much to complain about other than what I just mentioned and the Christmas expansion pack coming off as a bit half-assed.

"(Insert quote that Duke stole from some other movie here.)"

A refreshingly simple shooter that relies more on pure skill than anything else(Much like the somewhat identical original).
A remake of the original Counter Strike using the source engine that has more maps, ragdoll physics, way better graphics and textures, and gets rid of the unnecessary task of buying ammo for your guns.

Also, good for playing if you're temporarily stuck with a computer that can't run Counter Strike: Global Offensive.

(I'm terrible at this game by the way)

"What about you Carl? Huh?! DID YOUR A$$ GET ENOUGH WINGS?!!!!"

At first I was like: "Nope... nope... not a fu**ing chance... not doing it."

And then I was like : "BRING IT ON CHUCK E. CHEESE!!!"

Also, you can click Freddy's nose on the poster and it makes the cutest noise of all time.

A fun and weird visual novel with lovely music. Definitely something else though.
Buy if you're a VN fan and you can get past some of it's nonsensical storytelling and the fact that every character besides you is a bird.

"Whaddya mean a bird?!!"
-Tourettes Guy